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You’ve just met your dream girl. When suddenly the gravity shifts in the club. ka doom… ka DOOM… KA DOOM… approaching, squeezed into heels and a tiny dress like 180lbs of used bubblegum wrapped in sausage casing and balanced on a pair of toothpicks…

The LAND MONSTER.

Your eyes dart across the room… and no wingman in sight. You’re keeping it going with your angel… But a cocktail-dress-wearing asteroid eclipses over her shoulder… and the fate of your pick-up is imminent – EXTINCTION.

Where’s Bruce Willis when you need him?

Going out there and approaching women in the club gets brutal sometimes.. You can face rejection, social pressure, and awkwardness… and so can your buddies. Whether some girl spills a drink on them, starts a fight, or drunkenly steals your friend’s hat and stuffs it into her purse (true story), anything can mess up their night. Here’s how you can get your wingmen back in the game.

But first, I gotta clear up one misconception.

“Let those candy-asses sack up and take care of themselves. I’m out to get laid, not babysit grown men.”

If you’ve got this every-man-for-himself attitude,
A) you’re a dick,
B) When the chips are down, you’ll be on your own. Good luck.

Why rally the troops?

The nightlife is chaos and you never know when you’re gonna need backup. I’ve encountered countless situations where my buddy swooped in and saved the day. And if your buddy’s having an off night, at critical moments he won’t be able to maintain cover fire long before your squad gets overwhelmed.
Also remember that no man is invincible; you will have off nights. If you help your boys when they’re down, they’ll bring YOU back in the game next time you’re out of commission.

What NOT to do

Don’t get analytical and try to solve their sour mood directly. It’ll just reinforce the bad mood. This isn’t the time to get analytical about game either. Talking shop is fun, but at a club it’s counter-productive. Save that for home.

How to boost your squadron’s morale

You gotta build morale in your personal army. I’ve gone ahead and provided some of my personal favorite methods of motivating your friends to help you get girls, along with the Wingman Morale rating.

Singing
Sing the chorus of a popular song that your friends know and encourage them to join in. It doesn’t matter if you’re a good or bad singer, as long as you belt out those notes and belt ‘em like you just don’t care. Examples include Day-Oh, American Pie, Louie Louie, etc. A good time to do this is when you’re traveling between bars (Not man enough to sing? Try freestyling and have your friends beatbox. And if your crew gets a record deal, I’m cool with 10%).

Morale Boost:

Be goofy on the dance floor

If your friends see you dancing ridiculously, they might loosen up. A good example of this: the Patented Eli Butt-Bump

Morale boost:

Get your boys’ back
Braddock wrote about a fun way to assist your wings. Watch your buddy go chat up a girl, and if she rejects him, just boo her!

Morale boost: 

Monkey see, monkey screw
Step out of your group and just open up some girls in front of your friends. If the guys see you do this a few times, they might get motivated to follow suit. If they don’t…

Morale boost:

Call in backup

…tell the girls “hey you should meet my friend, he’s pretty cool” and just bring your buddy into the conversation. Your friend doesn’t have to be a conversational master here; simple chit-chat will suffice.

Morale boost:

Start Early

If your wings suffer from a chronic lack of mojo every time you go out, maybe you’re starting the night too late. Everyone needs time to warm up. Go hang out at a dive bar or something before going to the club. Everyone’s results will improve. I guarantee it.

Morale boost:

“An army is a team”

Armed with these morale-boosting tips your team will be unstoppable. I’ll close this out with one of my favorite quotes from the cinematic manliness epic, Patton:

“An army is a team. They live, sleep, eat, fight as a team. This individuality stuff is a bunch of crap. Those bilious bastards that wrote about individuality in the Saturday Evening Post don’t know anything more about real fighting than they do about fornicating!”

If you want to fill up your Facebook with lots of cool pictures that make you look awesome, you gotta become a photographer. No worries, I’ve listed all the basics you’ll need right here. You don’t have to go pro like I did (though taking college courses and taking nightclub promo photos would help :-) ).

CHOOSING A CAMERA

Cellphone cameras suck. If you haven’t got a pocket point-and-shoot, bottom line, get a Canon PowerShot SD780 IS Digital Elph (Canon IXUS 100 IS in the UK).

Canon PowerShot SD780 IS Digital Elph

If you want to shop around, the following features are important for your purposes:

• does it fit easily in your pocket?
• optical (not digital) zoom
• decent battery life
• decent autofocus
• does it have low shutter lag? (The delay between pressing the button and the picture being taken) Shutter Lag Comparison Chart
• Memory format (I prefer SD cards)

If you want to look professional and go beyond a point-and-shoot, be careful. Some club staff will think you’re trying to muscle in on their territory – many of them have an in-house camera guy. Once you’re inside though you shouldn’t have a problem; in all my years of photography I got threatened by another camera dude only once (When he did I told my MMA buddy Eli about it and the guy disappeared all night for some reason).

Insider tip: To infiltrate clubs I wasn’t officially working for, I used to carry a black Canon Powershot S5 IS. The latest equivalent is this little number:

Canon PowerShot SX20 IS

When it’s off, it’s small enough that bouncers won’t notice or care. But when you turn it on, the lens retracts and the pictures it gets are way more pro than a pocket point-and-shoot.

THIS IS MY CAMERA. THERE ARE MANY LIKE IT BUT THIS ONE IS MINE.

Make a pocket camera one of your pocket essentials that you never leave home without, like your wallet or your keys. That way you’ll never miss a thing. And always, always, before you leave with your camera, do a spot-check – turn it on and take a test photo. If your battery’s low or your memory card is missing or full, you’d better find out NOW, rather than when you’re out and that mega-babe decides to make out with her best girlfriend while showing off her new implants. Near Bigfoot.

GOOD PICS TO TAKE

Pictures are cheap, that’s the beauty of digital. Take pictures of everything – interesting stuff you do, places you go, people you meet. Post the best ones to Facebook.

Specific types of good pictures:

Pics of you with pretty girls (NOT making out or touchy feely with them! That makes you look sleazy).

At the same time, don’t just take pictures of every pretty girl you meet and post them exclusively. Keep the ratio of “pics with 1 girl” to “pics with a dude or 2 or more people” like 30/70 maximum. (One of my friends does this ALL the time, he’s probably reading this blog right now. Yes dude I am calling you out. Easy on the girl pictures amigo! Mix it up)

Pics that tell a good story about you.

Pics showing some of your cool hobbies, places you’ve traveled, or a fun event like a concert.

Pics of you with friends or a group of people, all having fun.

The “All having fun” part is the key. It’s cool to have group pictures, but if the group pictures are always people just standing around it gets monotonous.

QUICK N’ DIRTY GOOD PICTURE TAKIN’

• Always take more than one picture of something. You’ll always end up with a “best picture” out of the group.
• Make sure your horizon is flat and level. (you can break this rule with crazy camera tilts, but you’d better have a good reason)
• Hold the camera fairly still to reduce blurring.
• How to “frame” pictures of people: horizontal pictures – Mentally divide the picture into 3 equal rows like a tic-tac-toe board. Position important stuff so it’s near the corners of the center square. (Canon cameras have a button that overlays a grid on top of your picture to make this easier)
• How to “frame” pictures of people: For portrait-style (when you turn the camera on its side) pictures – give the top of their head a little bit of clearance.

HOW NOT TO BE “CREEPY CAMERA GUY”

Always give people a chance to say “no” to having their picture taken. Depending on context, this can be as simple as saying “Hey let’s get a picture!” while you get your camera ready, or outright asking. Some people just don’t want their picture taken, and giving them an opportunity to say so makes them comfortable.

If anyone asks why you’re taking a picture, just say “I’m a photographer, I like taking pictures.” (if you get asked this question in more than 1 in 4 groups, you’re getting pictures at the wrong time, or you’re taking too many pictures.) If they ask how you got into it, tell ‘em your photographer buddy Wrabbit gave you some pointers :-)

Don’t have everyone stop and pose for photos more than a couple of times, otherwise it gets annoying. If something interesting happens (someone calls for a toast, a bachelorette party shows up) a picture is pretty natural though.

THE SECRET TO AWESOME PEOPLE PICS

When taking nightlife/party pictures of people, the best pictures are not the perfectly staged poses, but when everyone is on a “high note” – when they’re having the most fun. Watch the energy levels. Listen for people hootin’ and hollerin’ and having a good time, then snap a shot.

PICTURE MANAGEMENT

You gotta manage your pictures because the more pictures you take, the more time it takes to organize them, and you don’t want to be shuffling pictures around all day. I use iPhoto to manage and organize my personal pics, the interface makes it easy. It’s got a built-in Facebook image uploader that makes uploading pictures a snap.

iPhoto (and other photo organizer software) gives you an option to delete photos after uploading – DON’T do this. Here’s why…

YOUR IN-CAMERA ALBUM

I always leave a few of my “greatest hits” on my camera’s memory card. These are the pictures that are really crazy or the ones with a great story behind them. You can spin these into conversation material to show to girls.

LEARN MORE

If you want to learn more about exposure, aperture, shutter speed, lighting, etc. there are plenty of good books on photography out there. A Digital Photography for Dummies book should suffice for a general overview. If you want to dig a little deeper, your local community college has photography classes (plus who knows, you might run into a shutterbug babe). Or if you’re already in college, sign up for a Black & White Photography class. Now make some awesome albums.

A Grand Unified Theory of Game

I’m not gonna lie.

The final reason I even got started writing this thing, the final piece of the puzzle putting this blog together, was…
a woman.

Big surprise huh.

Not just any woman, but an attractive, intelligent, talented *amazing* woman with a good head on her shoulders.

I’m not idolizing this person. She’s really pretty awesome.

And there are countless women out there just like her. They’re not rare, they exist. IN DROVES. Confession: I’ve snooped hot girls’ Facebook friend lists. These lists are packed with hundreds of beautiful women (well, beautiful profile pics at least) just like their owners!

'Whatev dude. That's a MySpace angle.'

Men: What do you do now to bring these amazing women into your life? Or whatever type of woman you’re seeking?

The goal of this blog is to help answer that question. (Well if I don’t get sidetracked with dick and titty jokes anyway).

Here’s a start – the big picture.

Sidetrack: Big Bang or God's Wang?

What is the key to being good with women? Well It’s not about looks. It’s not even about money per se. A lot of dating companies touch on what it takes to be good with women, but everything they teach boils down to 6 simple words:

Be social. Be successful. Have fun.

Simple enough right?

And the thing is, if you master ONE of these areas, you’ll probably get the girl(s) you want, even if the other traits aren’t that great. Keep reading if you want to see a breakdown in complete detail.

Extreme Examples

Social: Frank Abagnale from Catch Me If You Can was a (now-reformed) con-artist and a criminal, but his incredible social intuition fooled even high-ranking government officials, and made countless beautiful women fall for him.

True playa.

Successful: Ruling an empire is pretty high up there on the success scale. Look at the history of ancient kings and most have enough wives and concubines to put Wilt Chamberlain to shame.

Not tonight honey. We have a headache.

Fun: What makes someone fun to be around? It’s all based on positive emotions you bring to others. Look at any famous artist or musician and they’ve got this down – they not only bring the positive emotions that people crave, but they infuse them into words, images, and sound. It’s a strange kind of power that seems like magic. They also get laid like… rockstars.
-

The King.

Now the specifics are what get you.

Be Social

How do you get social?

Leave the house. Talk to people.

If only it was that easy…

There’s plenty of advice out there showing how to be more social in a networking or business context. But what does society tell us (Americans) about frank talk on dating and sex? It’s BAD. Taboo. Awkward. So the conversation goes underground and many guys never find out how to succeed with women. At least now there are some companies out there that fill in this gap (I’ve been involved with one – Love Systems).

Be Successful

“Successful” is relative by the way. I’ve known artists that are dead broke and have an amazing romantic life. Sure they may have no money, but their artwork is inspired. They’re successful in life, not necessarily with money, because they accomplished something admirable that took passion and serious effort.

And if you are focused on making money – sure you can work 80 hour weeks and make mad cash, but how can you enjoy the women in your life with your time-sucking livelihood?

Hoes don't count!

You gotta play it smart. There are plenty of places like The Simple Dollar, and 4 Hour Work Week that will give you methods for spending wisely and working smarter so you have time to focus on what you want in life.

Have Fun

By this, I mean you’re fun to be around, and you’re having fun with dating.

Fun to Be Around

There are many ways you can inspire positive emotions in others. Whether it’s through music or art as described above, a humorous perspective on life, or telling interesting stories, those positive emotions will turn you into a magnet for female attention.
It’s easy to overdo pleasing others though. Follow the show business adage to always leave your audience wanting more so you won’t become the oft-maligned “dancing monkey”. Also be sure to do things for your own amusement too (as long as it does no real harm) so you’re not dependent on validation from others.

Having Fun with Dating

The guys who take dating too seriously are the guys who go home alone. Adopt the mindset that meeting a beautiful woman is a casual everyday thing, and nothing is ever a big deal. Let me reiterate – NOTHING is ever a big deal. Her life circumstances, yours, your sexuality, her sexuality – nothing should ever faze you.

This is the same mindset that men with lots of beautiful women in their lives possess.

This part of it is mental, because you can’t fake it. Dating companies can provide guidance and direction for effective mindsets to have for “Inner Game”.

Finding out More

You could go online for weeks and find every single nugget of information on all of these topics to formulate the perfect plan for improving your game. Or you could be lazy like me and just read a couple of books. Here are some examples:

Be Social:
How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie
Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazi
Magic Bullets by Love Systems Director Savoy

Be Successful:
Getting Things Done by David Allen
Four Hour Work Week by Tim Ferriss
The Magic of Thinking Big by David J. Schwartz

Be Fun:
Pulling your Own Strings by Wayne Dyer
The Power of Less by Leo Babauta
My Secret Garden by Nancy Friday
Good luck!

In a recent article I described how my buddy Eli convinced a whole small-town club he was the owner in 45 minutes. I’m gonna list a lot of crazy fun stuff here, and how to use it. Maybe you can go out and try it yourself one night. Will it improve your game? Yes. Because you’re training your social intuition, when it works it impresses girls, and above all… you’re having a good time!

Social Sleight of Hand: Misdirection

You ever deal from the bottom of the deck? The key is misdirection. When you’re a magician doing tricks -

Whoops. Illusions.

- you gotta give your audience a bright shiny thing to look at so they won’t catch you stuffing pigeons in your shirt. When it comes to social sleight of hand, your big distraction is this: before the big reveal, throw in something weirdly specific. People will be so distracted by the specific thing that they won’t notice the outrageous lie right behind it. Examples (with Specific details in italics):

“We’re in a band called Mountain Meadows Massacre, we’ve been touring for 3 and a half years now. It’s country black metal.”

“Our buddy’s business really took off, he just bought a penthouse in West LA. He invented the Snuggie.”

Make Your Friends Part of the Conspiracy

If all of you have a story going (see some suggestions below), the con has way more impact. Have your friends drop details that agree with your story.
Ex: You’re “Australian” and your friend says “If you ever visit you should see my buddy’s place in Melbourne, it’s got a killer view”.

Watch for Easy Opportunities

Sometimes a girl will make an assumption about you that is completely incorrect. These are the easiest cons to pull off because hey, it’s her idea, not yours. Just agree with it. “Whoa that’s kinda crazy. How did you know I was Norweigan? If you say you like lutefisk this conversation is over, stalker.”

Be Really Serious

If people laugh at something ridiculous, look offended. This lie is your life and you’re proud of it. React like they just kicked your dog. You’ve gotta be totally deadpan though – if one laugh leaks out you’re done.

Brush Off Minor Objections

“Oh no, I got called out, what do I say?”
The first time they think you’re lying, brush it off. Stick to your guns. One of my favorite ways to do this is to look at them like they just farted, and keep talking.
If you get called out again though the jig is up. Just drop it and change the subject.

Are Hot Girls More Gullible?

Since most guys don’t have the balls to lie to a hot girl’s face, it’s easy to assume hot girls will believe every dumb thing you say. Most guys are trying so hard to impress her that they would never convince her they’re Australian, for example. On the other hand…

Hot Girls Have More Social Intuition

By virtue of being hot, some hot girls have vast social experience since people start conversations with them all the time. So some of them can spot a lie pretty quickly. Others… well if you meet a ditsy hot girl, you’ve just hit the con artist jackpot my friend. Convince her you’re a Bhutanese breakdancing champion. Your signature move? The cockstand.

Like this, but no hands.

Drop the Lie, Gain Attraction

At some point drop the lie. You’re just having fun, you’re not outright deceiving people. Revealing the lie also wins you some attraction, since being able to lie well is a sign of social intuition.

One of my favorite ways to clue them in: “Hey, did you know if you say ‘gullible’ really slowly, it sounds like ‘chicken’?”

Be aware though that some girls will go through all kinds of mental gymnastics to convince themselves they weren’t bamboozled after the fact. If a girl is totally serious about not falling for your gag, don’t get into an argument. Just let it go and move on to the next topic.

Crazy Club Story Ideas

So now you’ve got the tools, what kinds of crazy cons can you try out? Here are some I’ve tried with my friends.

Pretend you or your group is:

• the owner
• a completely different nationality. Bonus if you mimic an accent to go with it. (How to be incredibly awkward and create a situation that will probably get you banned from the venue: Pretend you’re their nationality)
• a minor celebrity that you have a passing resemblance to
• a band – The more retarded it is, the more points you get if anyone believes you. “We’re in a band called Mountain Meadows Massacre, we’ve been touring for 3 and a half years now. It’s country black metal.”
• really insanely rich – “He doesn’t like to talk about it but our buddy’s got 8% of stock in Facebook.” (Even better since Facebook is not publicly traded.) Or this one: “Our buddy’s business took off, he just bought a penthouse in West LA. He invented the Snuggie.”
• world famous guru – “Yeah people come from all over the world to learn from this guy. He taught Jean-Claude Van Damme’s brother. He teaches interpretive jazz dance.”

This one is magic because it’s so simple, but hardly any of the guys I know do this. In fact, they come up with excuses NOT to do it. It boggles my frickin’ mind.

What do guys usually do to improve their odds?

• Blow mad cash on cars, clothes
• Spend hours at the gym

You spend all this money and time on all of these things because you know they’ll improve your game. But the biggest game booster of them all is so simple…

Get There Early!

On the nights where I got there early (before 10), I got at least 1 in 4 more results than before. And my friends say the same thing. Why does getting there early work so well? Well first I gotta trash one big excuse that some of y’all might be thinking.

Excuse: “Nobody’s gonna be there”

It’s how parties work. You don’t want to show up early when all the cool kids are late. It’s not trendy. Or maybe you’ll feel a little awkward. Guess what?

• A) This ain’t a party, it’s a club
• B) that’s how the other early birds are feeling too.

Now here are the reasons why getting to the club early works.

Catch the Solo Early Birds

This is my favorite reason to go out early. When groups of people show up to the club, sometimes some of them get there earlier than others, and end up hanging out alone at the bar for a little while. If you meet a girl who’s by herself early in the night, she’s probably arrived first out of her friends. She’ll be bored out of her mind and eager to talk to anybody. You don’t even have to have a wild and crazy conversation starter here. Even just saying “hi” can work. This is one way to find the fabled perfect 10′s human side before she punches in her clock as general manager of Cockbuster Video.

This also works with solo guys. No you’re not hitting on the dude. If you meet a guy who’s waiting for his friends he’ll be totally chill, and later on in the night you got an inside track to meeting any of his hot lady friends that show up.

Taking Social Risks Looks More Badass

When the crowd is small that’s a perfect time to start conversations. Why? Everyone else is a little uptight at the start of the night, they haven’t gotten their liquid courage on. If you do things that take more social pressure, you’ll stand out from the pack. If you:

• Open up a big group of people
• Dance by yourself on an empty dance floor

Anyone who sees it will wonder how you can do these things with the two melons you’re smuggling in your pants.

Build Social Proof with the Staff

Love Systems Instructor 5.0 mentions that early in the night is the best time to chat with bar staff since they’re not so busy. This is also your best chance to chat up those smokin’ hot waitresses.

You’ve Got More Time to Warm Up

Going from zero to social isn’t an instant process. You gotta ramp it up in steps. Having a simple chat with a few people when it’s early and low-energy lets you crank out a few base hits so you can hit home runs later.

At Clubs Late Sometimes Means Never

Who likes waiting in line for 30 minutes? Also if you’re a guy showing up at the club late they might not even let you in.

Dude we are so getting in.

You Can Break the Ice and Talk to People Later

Tenmagnet mentions that if you open up a group early on, you don’t even have to get very far, or stay with them all night. Just chat for a bit and come back later. The ice is broken. When the club is packed, you’ve got a home base of people you can always chat up again if you need to stay warmed up.

How to Convince Your Boys

You can use some of the points in this article to convince your guy friends: “I know it’s early but let’s GO. The girls will be way more friendly.” But nothing beats this argument: being in mid-chat with hot girls right when your friends roll in.

My natural player friend Eli and I check out a small city’s nightlife and he somehow ends up taking over a club.

Eli takes off into a club for half an hour and he’s not answering his phone. A drunk vanished Eli is a dangerous Eli. I always watch my boys, so I head back and get to the bouncer.

Bouncer: “It’s last call man I can’t let anybody in.”
Me: “I”m lookin for my friend Eli.”
Bouncer: “What, you mean like the owner Eli?”
Me: “What?”
Bouncer: “Like the OWNER ELI?”
Me: “Uh, yeah.”
Bouncer: “He’s right over there” and points at MY FRIEND ELI.

He’s in this crowd of people and waving a clipboard – “HEY! YOU! Are you on the list? Hey. Look over here. Is this your name? No? Hey you got a nice ass ” *slap* ” you’re invited!”

He asks people to find their name on the list and they can’t do it. I get a closer look at the paper and it’s a restaurant menu.

ELI ON USING THE CLIPBOARD

“I didn’t even look at the fuckin paper. I was pattin’ people on the butt. ‘Hey buddy.’ Big douchebags that wanna fight with people. ‘Are you on the list? Get the fuck out. You and Fabio over there. Get some mustard and butter and go home.’”

THE REAL OWNER SHOWS UP

It’s last call and as Eli backs up the entire club into a huge line, some scarecrow lookin’ dude marches up to him with a serious look on his face.
“I’m the owner’s brother. What are you doing with that clipboard?”
“Hey my name’s Eli. It’s cool man. I stole your clipboard. You can keep it.”
He glares at Eli.
“I don’t give a shit. Have a beer.”

ELI ON WHY IT WORKED

“I think I pulled a Mentos commercial. ‘It’s ok. I have breathmints. I stole someone’s cab. I have a cute smile. You can fuck off.’”

WHAT I LEARNED FROM THIS

The club environment is a complete fabrication. It’s a social bubble, created by its owners to ultimately make money and/or raise their status. Many clubs prey on people’s insecurities – creating an environment that seems intimidating, exclusive, and cooler than you – all to make you blow more cash to fit in.

So the next time you’re out and the club’s wearing you down, remember – it’s a social bubble anyone can pop, and all it takes is balls. Specifically, your balls.

TAKE A CLUBBIN’ ROAD TRIP!

Go to some random club in a place you’ll never see again. Make it a road trip with your buddies! Try something nutty (I’d rather not get sued, so I’ll say it here: do not break the law or start any fights). Maybe you’ll get kicked out, but who cares? Teabag that social bubble with your massive cojones ’til it pops.

So many guys end up in a relationship and what happens? She gets bored. Loses interest. Bangs the Dallas starting lineup AND the second stringers.

If it's these second stringers? Totally cool.

Sometimes you gotta do the unexpected to keep your lady into you. One big fat unexpected example: keeping your mojo.

Mojo is your sexual desirability to other women, and to maintain it, you gotta flirt with other women. The keyword here is “flirt”, not “make out with”, “fingerbang”, etc. You’re not doing this to make your girl jealous (so don’t do it in her face). You’re doing this for the health of the relationship.

Why does this behavior help the relationship?

Both parties must stay desirable or someone’s gonna lose interest.  Much like men are hard-wired to love a woman’s “assets”, women are hard-wired to desire a man who is desired by other women (“Pre-selection”) and even in a relationship this never goes away. The lady’s gotta stay in shape. And the man’s gotta keep his mojo.
A man without mojo is a man that will soon be single, if he isn’t already. Any time you’re out of the game, your mojo fades. It’s like a muscle. If you stop lifting, you’ll lose strength, so working out is a lifelong pursuit. In the same way, if you stop flirting, you’ll lose mojo, so mojo maintenance is a lifelong pursuit.

What causes mojo decay?

Actively attracting women is a complicated skill set. And like other skillsets (other languages, playing an instrument, drunk driving) if you stop practicing you’ll get sloppy, no matter how good you are.  Even Miles Davis lost his musical mojo when he took a hiatus.  Stop practicing flirting long enough and you’ll start forgetting it. It sneaks up on you… you’ll be running out of things to say (5.0 on what to say next), then you’ll get major approach anxiety again (dealing with approach anxiety by Daxx). Then all of a sudden it’s summertime and holy shit! You haven’t left home to socialize in two weeks.

Relating to people is something most of us do every day, so that skill has little risk of fading. Relating to desirable women is not something we do every day, so it’s easy to forget.

The good news is…

It just takes a little effort to “re-activate” dormant skills (Languages for example). It’s the same for pick-up. Give it a few weeks to kick-start your mojo. Just go out and practice like you’re single, schedule a few nights out with your boys (if your lady won’t let you do this you’ve got bigger problems my friend). If your relationship is monogamous, don’t cheat. Just soak in some positive female energy and bask in your newfound mojo.

Imagine, if you will, a perfect woman. Your dream girl.

A little from Columns B, C, and DD.

Absolutely stunning in every way possible, totally compatible, and she’s in love with you. Head over heels. The sex will be amazing and blah blah blah fill in your preferences here.

Except…

Megan Fox's Spoon Thumb

1. She’s got a serious case of spoon thumb. (Case in point – Megan Fox)
Would you date her?

2. Her boyfriend dumped her 3 years ago and she’s still not over it.
Would you date her?

3. oh, and she’s part of a Hollywood pseudo-religious cult.
Would you date her?

4. oh, and she can’t stand black people.
Would you date her?

5. Herpes.
Would you date her?

6. The Crying Game. (you totally can’t tell though.)
Would you date her?

7. The cops still haven’t found her last boyfriend’s body.
Would you date her?

Your Results

If you said yes to…

1 – That’s GOLD Jerry.
2 – Set a course for Drama, Captain. Warp 9.
3 – Blame Xenu.
4 – If you’re black my head just exploded right now
5 – Are you sure? Positive?
6 – I hear pink is trendy this season.
7 – File a restraining order. Against yourself.
I said “yes” to every question – Get help.
I said “no” to every question – Hi Hef! How’s the Mansion these days?

(There have been times in my life where I would have said yes to 1 through 3, and yes, even 4.)

Is it worth it to stick to your standards, even on the little stuff?

If you’re single and you turn down a girl with a few minor flaws, you could end up in a dry spell. Consider this. Based on my anecdotal experience (along with my natural player buddies) women can sense it when you’re gettin’ some.

[after a wild night of sex with his girlfriend] “I’m at work, breath all fucked up, no shower, ugly as hell. Every girl’s eyeballin’ me while I’m walkin’ around like Captain Caveman.” – Natural Player Eli

Captain Caaaaavemaaaaaan!

There’s something about getting laid that gives a man some swagger. Maybe it’s pheremones. Maybe it’s your voice dropping pitch or the reduction of ballast in your balls shifting your center of gravity. Either way it’s potent.

So if you are in a dry spell, it’s ok to relax your standards a bit. It’ll keep the beast in your pants happy, and it’ll keep your mojo at full strength. Just don’t take it to extremes and hook up with a land monster.

'We didn't come here to fight monsters, we're not equipped for it.'

Lay reports are compelling – it’s hard to top lurid descriptions of strangers having sex. But what use can you get out of them? Is it possible to improve your game from reading field reports and lay reports? Here are the top factors you need to consider.

Authenticity

This is the #1 factor of any field report. Because if it’s a fake, it won’t help you. Why?

If a guy’s so lacking in balls that he must lie about his dating life to anonymous strangers on the internet, it speaks volumes about his actual confidence level with real women.

So how could we possibly make PUA lay reports more genuine?

Let’s look at a group of people that has fact-checking, testing, and theory down: scientists.

I love the Scientific Method.

The problem PUAs have with “fakin’ the baby makin’” is the same problem scientists have with bogus research – getting bad conclusions from false data. Applying these bad conclusions in your own interactions will have unpredictable results, and will probably just sabotage your game.
To deal with this, scientists have the peer review system, where they regulate themselves. Imagine reading a questionable lay report, and calling on your fellow PUAs to regulate that lyin’ mofo. But until the pick-up community figures this out, expect this problem to stay.

Trust

You’ll read a lot of lay reports online, but in the end, you can only learn anything useful from trusted sources. For some people, that means reading no lay reports at all. For others, it might mean only reports of close friends or people they know personally. My criteria include field reports of people I know, and field reports of dating coaches that I’ve met before or seen in action.

Information Overload

You meet a beautiful woman. Actually she’s not just beautiful, she’s smokin’ hot. You both interact. What’s the most important thing to remember about that interaction?

Is it the words you say?
The words she says?
How she says them?
How you say them?
The way you’re dressed?
Your tone of voice?
Your posture?
Your mood?
Her mood?
Her body language?
The environment you meet her in?
Whether her friends can see you two?
Her logistics (is she driving her friends, how far is she from home, does she have to work tomorrow morning)?

And these are just some of the first things. Later on surprises will come up, you’ll say and do things that turn her on, turn her off, etc. The whole environment is in a state of chaos, and the author has to make sense of it. This brings up the next point…

Interpretation

Every word you read has passed through someone’s filter.

Kurosawa’s Rashomon is a moving example of how an observer’s perspective can lend a wholly different interpretation of the same events. Not to say that a sloppy squeeze-box session with the town hoochie should ever be considered high art, but lay reports won’t capture every detail, you’ll miss some things.

One example is body language. Maybe the events of someone’s lay report DID actually happen, but you won’t learn anything from it because one can’t document all the subtle nonverbal cues and tips that influenced the interaction. You might know exactly WHAT to say, but you won’t have any idea of HOW to say it. If your words say “expert seducer” and your body language screams “serial rapist”, well the body language is gonna win. Your voice tone, inflection, posture, mannerisms, etc. need to be on point. (Love Systems came out with a DVD on body language with some good info. Cajun’s articles on Body Language might also help).

Other Sides of the Story

Other perspectives would give a more complete picture of the interaction.

Wingman

The wingman knows the game, and since he’s not caught in the heat of the moment with the girl, he can catch other details, such as her friend’s reaction to the pick-up.

The Girl

For a legion of reasons, this is not generally feasible. When it does happen, this perspective can be enlightening. The only example of this I’ve found is Love Systems Director Savoy’s exhaustive 5-part field report with input from the girl at every step.

The strengths of field reports

Field reports don’t completely suck. If you’ve got the intangibles down and just don’t know what to say, they can be a great source of new routines to try out, with a few starter examples of how girls actually respond to it. The successful ones also provide great examples of handling logistics problems as they come up.

The Verdict

Field reports are no substitute for field experience. To get good you gotta put your ass on the line. They’re best at providing direction for verbal and logistical problems. If you’re looking for something useful, only study field reports from sources you trust that make sense to you.

“Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.”
- Mark Twain

I’m a guy. And like 99% of guys, I want a girl who’s hot.

One of the 1% guys.

That being said, it’s nice when you’re with a girl who has her shit together too. Because if you spend enough time with somebody, sooner or later you take on their traits – the good and the bad ones.

She's got big brains.

Some guys can’t handle that. They think it’s emasculating if there’s a chance the woman is better at something than they are. A girl I was dating (with a Masters in Organic Chem) once described to me, in her home country, there are 3 genders: women, men, and women with PhDs. Maybe it’s cultural, but either way, some guys need to man up and realize that they don’t have to be the best in the world at everything.

My take – I’m good at a lot of things. Even if she’s good at a few of them too, for the rest of them I’ll win. Every. Time. Women got equal rights, that includes the right to get their asses kicked at everything.

Welcome to Thunderdome.

I’m also a creative type, and a smart girl is a natural Muse, because if she’s driven, she’s gotta be passionate about something. Passion fuels art and ideas – and, of course, mind-blowing hot sweaty… intellectual stimulation.

And yes, there’s a chance that if your smart talented hottie ever feels like she’s surpassed you in awesomeness, she’ll start to wander. That’s why you never stop being awesome.

Not so awesome any more dude.

Now don’t walk away from this thinking “Dammit Wrabbit, if I fail is she gonna get wasted and bang a football team?” Regardless if you achieve the outcome or not, as long as you have the drive, the potential, and the activity level to succeed, she’ll never leave you for that reason (there are always exceptions, but if you’re doing everything right and she leaves, she screwed up, not you). Awesomeness is character, not results.

Pictured: Awesome.

It’s not easy being awesome. It takes a lot of work to get there. You gotta choose the interests that give you passion, because that passion provides the mental fuel to burn the hours and hours of midnight oil it takes to get awesome at any serious endeavor (not necessarily the “According to Gladwell” 10,000 hours, but close). Sure, this argument of being awesome applies to getting ANY girls. But it’s especially important with the smart ones. Let me elaborate.

I ain’t sayin’ she’s a…

All right, I don’t know if you’ve heard of this before, but apparently there are some women out there who have an exclusive preference for guys with money.

Gimme!

To this particular subgroup of women (colloquially known as “all of them”), it doesn’t matter whether you’re a hip-hop producer, real estate mogul, or trust fund baby. All they care about is another Cristal-fueled stretch-Hummer ride.

Titties are forever.

But think about this:

[the trust fund baby] “…is worthless. He’s spoiled, and didn’t earn it. Why should I care about all that stuff?” – Smart babe I know

Trust Fund Kid is not awesome (in fact he’s a real dick). The fat stack o’ cash is awesome, and since he’s got access to it he’s awesome by association. Which for smart girls, ain’t crap.

And that means smart girls will see right through any of YOUR crap. Far better to impress these women with your wit and banter (aka being a smartass for your own amusement) than relying on material value demonstrations like accomplishments and possessions. (Some examples of wit during pick-up from Love Systems Instructor Big Business)

That’s it for now guys. Go out there and score some smart babes.