Bad Date, Worse Date – Geeks Gone Wild
These are not your ordinary geeks.
I’m at a casual business meeting at a diner and all these geeky guys are sitting around quiet. So I socialize with them and everyone starts to open up. Don’t get me wrong, they’re not lacking in social skills – one of them shows up with his girlfriend. She’s not a supermodel or anything, but she’s a total party girl. And the most shy, withdrawn, zombie-looking geek of them all drives a Vette with “80 grand of modifications in the engine alone” according to his friend. Not just any geeks… but executive geeks! Geeks with hot cars and fat wallets!
Geeks + money = this.
The last one to arrive has a big pair of shades on his head, and he struts up with a sexy blonde. Did I show up to the wrong meeting? I whisper to party girl, who by now is my instant BFF – “Wow she’s beautiful!” and she agrees.
So Shades guy has one problem, he’s braggy. It starts out tolerable but after a while balloons into obnoxiousness (we got a Foghorn Leghorn here). During any conversation he makes it a point to name-drop every chance he gets.
“Halloween was great. I was VIP at this party where they rented out an entire hotel. So-and-so TV star was there along with so-and-so rock star.” – Shades guy
Call me simple, but that kind of stuff just grates on me. (As they teach in Magic Bullets over at Love Systems, if you’re gonna brag, be subtle about it.) Braggy guy goes to the head of the table and leaves me sitting across from the blonde. Big mistake Pops. If he was less of a dick I wouldn’t have said anything, but now she’s fair game. I talk to her and pretty much just be my naturally charming self :-) which ends up making her giggle and start showing interest.
I gotta get the scoop. “How do you guys know each other?”
“It’s kind of a first date… We met on the internet.”
Huh? “And he brought you here?”
“Yeah it’s kinda weird.” OK, Protip guys: don’t bring a first date to a business meeting.
Also a bad first date.
I get everybody’s number and I just happen to get her number in the process :-) Right away she sends me some flirty texts so we go back and forth a bit, unbeknownst to Shades guy. Now we got a conspiracy going! (One of Tenmagnet‘s insights)
I order a beer and start goofing around, throwing paper airplanes, starting conversations with other tables. Pretty soon everyone else is drinking and raising a ruckus. Just before the rowdiness peaks, the blonde drops a bomb out of nowhere. “I want to know, I’ve got to see this. What’s 2 girls 1 cup?” she asks innocently.
We insist she doesn’t want to know, that NO ONE ever wants to know the horror she’s describing.
5 minutes later we’re huddled around a laptop watching the #1 reason Brain Bleach should exist. Seriously? These geeks went from quiet analytical discussion to binge drinking and horrifying-porn-watching in 30 minutes flat. Conclusion: I’m the devil.
P.S. Oh yeah, Shades guy “bragged” that he worked with the guy who produced 2 girls 1 cup. Double-you-tee-fuck. I wish I was making that up.