Natural Player Profiles Pt. 1 – The Social Ninja
Along the path to social mastery I’ve made some friends who are true naturals with women, and I’ve learned lots from them. First off is my best friend – pop-locking, graffiti painting, MMA fighting Eli.
(This is Part 1. Read Part 2: The Brazilian Legend here)
THE SOCIAL NINJA
This is a guy who reads people well enough to get 30 second makeouts with hot women. He’s wild and goofy (and goofy-looking), but deeply spiritual and grounded at the same time. He’s also a natural leader and a social ninja. (he once took over a whole club in 45 minutes. His secret? A clipboard.)
ELI’S GAME IN A NUTSHELL
It’s late, I’m driving, and Eli’s cracking me up by doing the pervy old man voice from Family Guy. We get to a dive bar and he plows through the crowd towards the dance floor. He dances with a hot skinny blonde and she turns her back to him. So he bends over, sticks his head out and motorboats her BUTT.
(Disclaimer: The following technique is performed by a professional. Don’t try this at home kids)
She turns around mouth agape and slaps him HARD.
He says “that was niiice” and SLAPS HER BACK.
…
…
…
Makeout!
wtF?!??!
Eli gets away with EVERYTHING. He’s the kind of guy that tells his coworkers how great their tits are and they LOVE him for it.
Oh and his phone game is off the hook. Though it helps that he practiced “phone game” 40 hours a week for years in sales, where he regularly got phone numbers from hot high-status women (all while being monitored for propriety).
ELI’S DANCE FLOOR TIPS
The patented Eli Butt Bumpâ„¢
1. Get behind her
2. Turn around
3. Stick out your ass
4. Shake your booty
5. Yell out “WOOOOOO” cowboy-style and rub your wiggling ass on her
Every girl’s reaction to this? She laughs her ass off. This dance floor technique is solid gold. It takes BALLS, and it shows that you’re a fun goofy guy who doesn’t give a damn. It only works 95% of the time for me since I’m not the man who invented it… Eli’s batting average with it is 1.00. PROTIP: Try not to knock her over with your butt-thrust. Sending her flying ass over teakettle through a crowd of drunken strangers may, in fact, hurt your game.
*BONUS* CLUB DANCE ROUTINE – The Eli Pick-Up Spin
Here’s another money technique brought to you by an expert at throwing people’s weight around (Eli does MMA after all). This is a ballsy move, so if you need to guarantee it will work beforehand, use a compliance test courtesy of Love Systems Instructor Keychain.
Give it a touch of KC’s Masterpiece: raise your arms, palms skyward, and tell her “Arms up!” If she raises her arms with a big smile and/or raises them enthusiastically, you are GO for launch.
1. Give her a bear hug
2. Pick her up with both arms
3. Yell out “WOOOOO” cowboy-style and spin her around
WHAT DID I LEARN FROM HIM?
Eli took me under his wing when I was a scrub way back, when I was still torn up over losing a girl. He pointed me in the right direction, helped me grow ever since, and for that reason I believe if he ever decides to teach dating, he’ll be one of the best in the world. But I digress…
(Continued in Part 2: The Brazilian Legend!)
[...] all my years of photography I got threatened by another camera dude only once (When he did I told my MMA buddy Eli about it and the guy disappeared all night for some [...]
[...] If your friends see you dancing ridiculously, they might loosen up. A good example of this: the Patented Eli Butt-Bump [...]