Is there even a market for dating coaching in South America? Because every South American guy I’ve ever met has been cool, laid-back, and incredibly good with women. The perfect example? Andre.
Last known picture of Andre.
Andre started clubbing in Rio at the ripe old age of 15. He told me once, “In Brazil man, when the club closes at 2 A.M., you go to the club, they close at 6am. Then you go to the club, they close at 10 A.M., and you party all night man.”
His philosophy on life, no matter
————————————————————————————————————-
*** WARNING WARNING HOTTIE ALERT HOTTIE ALERT ***
SCANNERS HAVE DETECTED A HOT BRUNETTE – we now join the author’s LIVE UNFILTERED thought process already in progress!!
————————————————————————————————————-
Hey I got an idea! Why don’t you write a story about your In-N-Out Burger approach right now!!!
YOU DICK! It’s a group of people!!
Do you want to have epic game?
Then fuckin GO!!
Better now than never!
You’re gonna be drivin home and you’re gonna wonder WTF happened… why didn’t you go approach her?
Who cares… nobody’s gonna remember you here anyway!
Holy shit!
you did it! Ok I feel better now.
Wasn’t so bad was it?? haha!!!
haha whats the follow-up?
Duh… don’t expect an answer.
Just say… “What’s your name?”
hey at least you did it. That took some stones brah
You pushed your comfort zone! DAYTIME MIXED GROUP!
Cool. write about it. haha.
Yeah it would have been better if you had approached 1st thing instead of waiting… but at least you fuckin did it man
Ideally this was just to get over your Approach Anxiety. Anything after that is bonus points.
Remember, you gotta do stuff like this constantly if you want to get good!!
Goddammit brain you’re an asshole I am never bringing my laptop out again…!!
Andre’s philosophy on life, no matter how fucked up your day is going? “RELAAAX man, relax. Have a beeeer. I call some strippers man. I know these girls they work at the tanning booth man I know some hookers. They come and party. Relax.” He’s somewhat tall and decent looking but he’s not a model by any means. It’s all charm.
ANDRE’S GAME IN A NUTSHELL
I’m at a house party where this hot blonde is quite literally surrounded by dudes. They sit on couches and chairs in a circle around her and compete for her attention.
Andre opens the door, walks in, glides past all these college studs, reaches down, strokes her chin, and says in his thick Brazilian accent – “You have… the most… beautiful… eyes…”
She gets up, mesmerized as Andre takes her hand and walks her outside. The guys go silent.
Instant makeout.
5 minutes later I get a text. I hand him his keys and he takes her home.
WHAT DID I LEARN FROM HIM?
After a party I’m hanging out with a few friends at Andre’s place. My friend’s roommate who’s Woody-Allen-neurotic starts the “this one girl” speech. “She just broke up with her boyfriend, and I want to have sex but I think she’d rather wait, we kissed last night but I wasn’t sure and blah blah blah” and so on, explaining this whole complicated situation to Andre for 10 minutes. And what does Andre do? He listens. He nods. He mulls it over and sips his beer. And right away I can sense that something profound is about to happen.
He pauses, sips his drink, and begins speaking.
“JUST FUCK HER man!”
The moment you start overthinking, remember the words of Andre.
POSTSCRIPT
I wrote this back in 2009. Eli stayed back home when I moved cross country. We’re still in touch. He’s got a girlfriend now but he maintains his mojo by going out constantly and charming every woman in sight. I hope he makes it out to LA soon.
I lost touch with Andre after he moved to the Deep South and, apparently, got married. Looks like the legend has retired…
Imagine, if you will, a perfect woman. Your dream girl.
A little from Columns B, C, and DD.
Absolutely stunning in every way possible, totally compatible, and she’s in love with you. Head over heels. The sex will be amazing and blah blah blah fill in your preferences here.
2. Her boyfriend dumped her 3 years ago and she’s still not over it.
Would you date her?
3. oh, and she’s part of a Hollywood pseudo-religious cult.
Would you date her?
4. oh, and she can’t stand black people.
Would you date her?
5. Herpes.
Would you date her?
6. The Crying Game. (you totally can’t tell though.)
Would you date her?
7. The cops still haven’t found her last boyfriend’s body.
Would you date her?
Your Results
If you said yes to…
1 – That’s GOLD Jerry.
2 – Set a course for Drama, Captain. Warp 9.
3 – Blame Xenu.
4 – If you’re black my head just exploded right now
5 – Are you sure? Positive?
6 – I hear pink is trendy this season.
7 – File a restraining order. Against yourself.
I said “yes” to every question – Get help.
I said “no” to every question – Hi Hef! How’s the Mansion these days?
(There have been times in my life where I would have said yes to 1 through 3, and yes, even 4.)
Is it worth it to stick to your standards, even on the little stuff?
If you’re single and you turn down a girl with a few minor flaws, you could end up in a dry spell. Consider this. Based on my anecdotal experience (along with my natural player buddies) women can sense it when you’re gettin’ some.
[after a wild night of sex with his girlfriend] “I’m at work, breath all fucked up, no shower, ugly as hell. Every girl’s eyeballin’ me while I’m walkin’ around like Captain Caveman.” – Natural Player Eli
Captain Caaaaavemaaaaaan!
There’s something about getting laid that gives a man some swagger. Maybe it’s pheremones. Maybe it’s your voice dropping pitch or the reduction of ballast in your balls shifting your center of gravity. Either way it’s potent.
So if you are in a dry spell, it’s ok to relax your standards a bit. It’ll keep the beast in your pants happy, and it’ll keep your mojo at full strength. Just don’t take it to extremes and hook up with a land monster.
'We didn't come here to fight monsters, we're not equipped for it.'
(originally written October 2009 – but still fresh!)
How I conquered the Everest of confidence killers one breezy Vegas night, bonus camera game tips, and the world’s smallest dating coach
IN THE CLUB FRIDAY NIGHT
October 2009 at The Love Systems Super Conference.
I’m a wreck.
I’ve talked to 6 groups of girls. I’ve opened, I’ve gamed, and nothing has worked. I’m starting to wonder what’s wrong. Girls have phantom boyfriends, small bladders, and even phantom girlfriends excusing them away.
Keychain points out that my body language and voice tone are completely off. What’s strange is, these traits were solid after a previous bootcamp. Now I’m not even aware of my approval-seeking behavior. I say they’re just new bad habits I gotta shake, but a growing knot of anxiety gnaws at my stomach.
Keychain points out a seated pair of girls taking a picture. What luck! Years of club photography never failed me as a social crutch. I walk up, offer to take their photo, then cheekily take my own instead (a classic move). Then I “get the best camera angle” which of course requires me to sit next to the girl I’m interested in.
I flirt for 30 seconds then we get kicked out of our table which actually belongs to someone else. The girls leave. Keychain says “Go get her number” so I walk over and… no dice.
DAMN!
I was on top of the world when I got here. I was perfectly buzzed, having a great time, chatting with the guys, and nervous but ready. What’s happening?
FREEFALL
A memory hits me. Three weeks ago. Back home across the country.
The butterfly
A butterfly lands on my shoulder and stays there. It rides with me across town as I make my last moving trip. The instant I open the truck door, it flies out and lands in a tree in front of my old house. The butterfly just traveled, at its scale, the same distance I’m about to travel.
WINGS
Keychain steps aside and we have a heart-to-heart talk.
A little while back, I tell him, I sold everything I had, hopped in my car with the clothes on my back, and drove to LA. I was sick of my corporate job, sick of a one-horse town, and hungry to start my own business.
Friends and family said I was nuts. And maybe they’re right.
Out there I’m crashing on a couch and searching for customers. I’m worried. Cold reading experts say all problems boil down to health, wealth, and relationships. And wealth’s my block.
We’ve all got hang-ups. It’s natural. It’s human. And game brings you to your edge, where hang-ups can’t hide. You just have to deal with them.
We philosophize, make jokes, and Keychain gives me a helping hand out of my funk. Not as a professor or guru, but as a friend.
And what did the butterfly teach me? That even through the unknown, it found a home.
MINUTES LATER
I sit next to a pretty brunette. We flirt, almost kiss, and set up a Sunday date.
“Ok, where are we REALLY going?”
“House, no joke! My friends are there. Big party.”
I just picked up this girl I met at the loudest club ever from her apartment. Despite her living here for 3 years, her English is incoherent. After 20 minutes of driving all I can figure out is that we’re going to somebody’s house party. We enter some industrial area. “I don’t think there are any houses here.”
She says “no no no, house is here!”
After I sent this girl only one text, she’s invited me out to pick her up, told me her life story in pidgin English, and now I’m sure I’ll wake up later with a kidney missing. The things I do for a story…
I get a whiff of something ripe and shrug it off. Little do I know that this moment is like the first fleeting glimpse of the monster in a horror movie.
She squeals “House is close!”
We drive further and further and I finally see where we’re heading – a building with a neon sign saying “HOUSE.” I smack my forehead. My life has become an Abbott and Costello routine. We flip a U-turn and park. Cool, we’re finally here! I open the door and suddenly wish I hadn’t.
Oh my god.
I almost vomit. This is an abomination. It smells like Satan himself ate maggot-stuffed cabbage and took a steaming dump on a burning horse. Just breathing feels like one year of your life draining out of your lungs. I can’t even hear what she’s saying, I rush into the club and gasp like a dying fish.
Once the color returns to my vision I look around. Hmm I think I’ve seen this place before. Any second now a black guy in body armor is gonna bust in and kill some of these coked-out vampires.
Not pictured: olfactory terror.
To further showcase the nightmarishness, the smell is clawing its way in from outside. I ask a bartender what the hell is going on and she says they make dog food or something around here. What the hell do they make it out of, bull nuts and pig shit?! (horrifyingly enough I’m not that far off)
We spend a while there, then she tells me she wants to hang out there ’til 5am. FUCK THAT.
I can’t take any more of this smell. I gotta find a diner but I don’t know any place around here. I text one of my boys and he suggests this place in Hollywood. Sweet! (I owe you dude)
MISTAKE #2 – CONTINENTAL DIVIDE
We go there and it’s so busy they have a security guy and a line-up out front. I chat with the bouncer and he’s pretty cool. I chat with my girl some more. So far I’m doing ok, but when we finally go inside I make Game-killing Mistake #673.
We go to sit down and get assigned a booth – one of those “booths for two”, where you have to sit face-to-face. Too late I realize that we’re stuck for the whole meal with a gulf of cheap Formica between us. By the end of the meal any sexual tension has dissipated and the date is pretty much over.
Always always SIT NEXT TO THE GIRL AT RESTAURANTS.
Lay reports are compelling – it’s hard to top lurid descriptions of strangers having sex. But what use can you get out of them? Is it possible to improve your game from reading field reports and lay reports? Here are the top factors you need to consider.
Authenticity
This is the #1 factor of any field report. Because if it’s a fake, it won’t help you. Why?
If a guy’s so lacking in balls that he must lie about his dating life to anonymous strangers on the internet, it speaks volumes about his actual confidence level with real women.
So how could we possibly make PUA lay reports more genuine?
Let’s look at a group of people that has fact-checking, testing, and theory down: scientists.
I love the Scientific Method.
The problem PUAs have with “fakin’ the baby makin’” is the same problem scientists have with bogus research – getting bad conclusions from false data. Applying these bad conclusions in your own interactions will have unpredictable results, and will probably just sabotage your game.
To deal with this, scientists have the peer review system, where they regulate themselves. Imagine reading a questionable lay report, and calling on your fellow PUAs to regulate that lyin’ mofo. But until the pick-up community figures this out, expect this problem to stay.
Trust
You’ll read a lot of lay reports online, but in the end, you can only learn anything useful from trusted sources. For some people, that means reading no lay reports at all. For others, it might mean only reports of close friends or people they know personally. My criteria include field reports of people I know, and field reports of dating coaches that I’ve met before or seen in action.
Information Overload
You meet a beautiful woman. Actually she’s not just beautiful, she’s smokin’ hot. You both interact. What’s the most important thing to remember about that interaction?
Is it the words you say?
The words she says?
How she says them?
How you say them?
The way you’re dressed?
Your tone of voice?
Your posture?
Your mood?
Her mood?
Her body language?
The environment you meet her in?
Whether her friends can see you two?
Her logistics (is she driving her friends, how far is she from home, does she have to work tomorrow morning)?
And these are just some of the first things. Later on surprises will come up, you’ll say and do things that turn her on, turn her off, etc. The whole environment is in a state of chaos, and the author has to make sense of it. This brings up the next point…
Interpretation
Every word you read has passed through someone’s filter.
Kurosawa’s Rashomon is a moving example of how an observer’s perspective can lend a wholly different interpretation of the same events. Not to say that a sloppy squeeze-box session with the town hoochie should ever be considered high art, but lay reports won’t capture every detail, you’ll miss some things.
One example is body language. Maybe the events of someone’s lay report DID actually happen, but you won’t learn anything from it because one can’t document all the subtle nonverbal cues and tips that influenced the interaction. You might know exactly WHAT to say, but you won’t have any idea of HOW to say it. If your words say “expert seducer” and your body language screams “serial rapist”, well the body language is gonna win. Your voice tone, inflection, posture, mannerisms, etc. need to be on point. (Love Systems came out with a DVD on body language with some good info. Cajun’s articles on Body Language might also help).
Other Sides of the Story
Other perspectives would give a more complete picture of the interaction.
Wingman
The wingman knows the game, and since he’s not caught in the heat of the moment with the girl, he can catch other details, such as her friend’s reaction to the pick-up.
Field reports don’t completely suck. If you’ve got the intangibles down and just don’t know what to say, they can be a great source of new routines to try out, with a few starter examples of how girls actually respond to it. The successful ones also provide great examples of handling logistics problems as they come up.
The Verdict
Field reports are no substitute for field experience. To get good you gotta put your ass on the line. They’re best at providing direction for verbal and logistical problems. If you’re looking for something useful, only study field reports from sources you trust that make sense to you.
“Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.”
- Mark Twain
What do PUA guys want out of pick-up? Or more accurately, what do PUAs want out of the sexual relationship area of their lives? Here are some common goals and practical reasons why these goals suck:
1. “I want to bang as many hot women as possible.”
aka pump-and-dump, the Wilt Chamberlain
WHY this sucks
This is NOT a long term strategy. Sorry buddy but when you’re 75 years old, unless you’ve got fame, massive fortune, or godlike game to swing around, you’re not banging random 20 year old co-eds.
WHY this may not suck so much
If you don’t have much experience with women, this can be a good thing. Here’s why:
To discover the qualities you truly want in a woman, the best method is to experience what women have to offer – and that means playing the field (Jeremy Soul on why getting experience can help).
So you won’t have that nagging feeling of “if only…” while in a relationship. As in, if only I had dated a girl like this… or a girl like that… (Savoy on Choice and Relationships).
2. “I want a girlfriend / to get married.”
aka settling down, should you chain your balls to one horse?
Neigh!
WHY this sucks
Despite what some critics of PUA stuff think, not every guy into game is a womanizer. A lot of them are seeking stability in their love lives. But be aware that in today’s dating world, absolute relationship stability is a myth. Yes, even if you’re married. You gotta stay on your toes gentlemen if you want to keep your woman. How so? By staying desirable! (I’ll provide tips on how to stay desirable to your girl in an upcoming article [Keeping Your Mojo.])
WHY this may not suck so much
When you’ve played the field and discovered what qualities your dream girl should have – and you’ve met your dream girl and now she’s into you – Go for it.
3. “I want a harem of girls.”
aka Big Love, my-cack-is-a-firehose-hooked-to-the-city-protein-supply
WHY this sucks
The effort this takes to maintain can drain major resources from other areas of your life. Like your balls.
WHY this may not suck so much
When you have the significant amount of game, time, energy, Viagra, coke, and meth it take to juggle multiple women like chainsaws, it’s fun. I guess.
Hang on I just got something in the mail.
The Ultimate Goal
Beyond all of these goals, you’ve got to have an ultimate purpose of game.
I believe it should be freedom. Freedom from having to play the field. Freedom from having to stick to the first girl who settles for you. Freedom to recruit a 24/7 on-call man-milk extraction brigade. (Or harem. Whatever.) Only when you’ve freed yourself from your limitations can you find relationship happiness (Soul on finding what you want from your love life). Do you want to be free? You could read a few books maybe, but above all else, just get out there and meet some women.
Along the path to social mastery I’ve made some friends who are true naturals with women, and I’ve learned lots from them. First off is my best friend – pop-locking, graffiti painting, MMA fighting Eli.
This is a guy who reads people well enough to get 30 second makeouts with hot women. He’s wild and goofy (and goofy-looking), but deeply spiritual and grounded at the same time. He’s also a natural leader and a social ninja. (he once took over a whole club in 45 minutes. His secret? A clipboard.)
ELI’S GAME IN A NUTSHELL
It’s late, I’m driving, and Eli’s cracking me up by doing the pervy old man voice from Family Guy. We get to a dive bar and he plows through the crowd towards the dance floor. He dances with a hot skinny blonde and she turns her back to him. So he bends over, sticks his head out and motorboats her BUTT.
(Disclaimer: The following technique is performed by a professional. Don’t try this at home kids)
She turns around mouth agape and slaps him HARD.
He says “that was niiice” and SLAPS HER BACK.
…
…
…
Makeout!
wtF?!??!
Eli gets away with EVERYTHING. He’s the kind of guy that tells his coworkers how great their tits are and they LOVE him for it.
Oh and his phone game is off the hook. Though it helps that he practiced “phone game” 40 hours a week for years in sales, where he regularly got phone numbers from hot high-status women(all while being monitored for propriety).
ELI’S DANCE FLOOR TIPS
The patented Eli Butt Bumpâ„¢
1. Get behind her
2. Turn around
3. Stick out your ass
4. Shake your booty
5. Yell out “WOOOOOO” cowboy-style and rub your wiggling ass on her
Every girl’s reaction to this? She laughs her ass off. This dance floor technique is solid gold. It takes BALLS, and it shows that you’re a fun goofy guy who doesn’t give a damn. It only works 95% of the time for me since I’m not the man who invented it… Eli’s batting average with it is 1.00. PROTIP: Try not to knock her over with your butt-thrust. Sending her flying ass over teakettle through a crowd of drunken strangers may, in fact, hurt your game.
*BONUS* CLUB DANCE ROUTINE – The Eli Pick-Up Spin
Here’s another money technique brought to you by an expert at throwing people’s weight around (Eli does MMA after all). This is a ballsy move, so if you need to guarantee it will work beforehand, use a compliance test courtesy of Love Systems Instructor Keychain.
Now with with Keychain's Masterpiece Original Sauce(TM)!
Give it a touch of KC’s Masterpiece: raise your arms, palms skyward, and tell her “Arms up!” If she raises her arms with a big smile and/or raises them enthusiastically, you are GO for launch.
1. Give her a bear hug
2. Pick her up with both arms
3. Yell out “WOOOOO” cowboy-style and spin her around
WHAT DID I LEARN FROM HIM?
Eli took me under his wing when I was a scrub way back, when I was still torn up over losing a girl. He pointed me in the right direction, helped me grow ever since, and for that reason I believe if he ever decides to teach dating, he’ll be one of the best in the world. But I digress…
“We’ve only just met… and I have to leave. It’s a shame. We’re never gonna see each other again. So…” I get closer to her lips and my voice gets softer as I say… “We must have one… last… kiss… and it must be – ” I finish breathlessly – “incredible…”
Her soft kiss explodes into a white-hot passionate makeout. We’re ready to tear each other’s clothes off. I glance at her wristwatch. The dials don’t lie.
5:34.
My non-refundable flight leaves at 6:30. I have a choice – get laid or save $500.
ESCAPE
I send her out of my room. I pack my shit and curse my bill collectors. I run downstairs. I ask my British friend for a ride. “Sorry mate valet takes 15 minutes.”
I run to the ATM. Get cash. Call a cab. Jump inside.
5:47.
“Ft. Lauderdale-Hollywood.”
“When’s your flight?”
“6:30.”
Italian cabbie says, “You’re fucked.”
I throw him 60 bucks. He hauls ass, almost wrecks twice, and badmouths Florida cops.
6:04.
I reach the counter. Confirm my e-ticket. The desk guy says “You’re two minutes past confirmation.”
“Dude I gotta get on this plane!”
He glares at me. I smile back.
He radios “We clear for one more?”
Silence. Radio gibberish.
“You’re cleared.”
I run to security. I get “airport naked”. I curse the PILES of shit I’m carrying. TSA lady eyeballs me. I smile back.
6:17.
I clear security. Sprint through the terminal. I reach my gate to find… the jet bridge door is closing!
I brandish my boarding pass and plea for entry.
They shrug. I smile back.
They open the door. I run down the jet bridge and turn the corner to see…
The last TWO people boarding!
I make my flight with ONE MINUTE to spare. Holy shit. I lean back in my seat and shake my head. As my roommate says at home that night, “Mark one up for the record books. There might be an asterisk next to it, but whatever. It still counts.”
I’m a guy. And like 99% of guys, I want a girl who’s hot.
One of the 1% guys.
That being said, it’s nice when you’re with a girl who has her shit together too. Because if you spend enough time with somebody, sooner or later you take on their traits – the good and the bad ones.
She's got big brains.
Some guys can’t handle that. They think it’s emasculating if there’s a chance the woman is better at something than they are. A girl I was dating (with a Masters in Organic Chem) once described to me, in her home country, there are 3 genders: women, men, and women with PhDs. Maybe it’s cultural, but either way, some guys need to man up and realize that they don’t have to be the best in the world at everything.
My take – I’m good at a lot of things. Even if she’s good at a few of them too, for the rest of them I’ll win. Every. Time. Women got equal rights, that includes the right to get their asses kicked at everything.
Welcome to Thunderdome.
I’m also a creative type, and a smart girl is a natural Muse, because if she’s driven, she’s gotta be passionate about something. Passion fuels art and ideas – and, of course, mind-blowing hot sweaty… intellectual stimulation.
And yes, there’s a chance that if your smart talented hottie ever feels like she’s surpassed you in awesomeness, she’ll start to wander. That’s why you never stop being awesome.
Not so awesome any more dude.
Now don’t walk away from this thinking “Dammit Wrabbit, if I fail is she gonna get wasted and bang a football team?” Regardless if you achieve the outcome or not, as long as you have the drive, the potential, and the activity level to succeed, she’ll never leave you for that reason (there are always exceptions, but if you’re doing everything right and she leaves, she screwed up, not you). Awesomeness is character, not results.
Pictured: Awesome.
It’s not easy being awesome. It takes a lot of work to get there. You gotta choose the interests that give you passion, because that passion provides the mental fuel to burn the hours and hours of midnight oil it takes to get awesome at any serious endeavor (not necessarily the “According to Gladwell” 10,000 hours, but close). Sure, this argument of being awesome applies to getting ANY girls. But it’s especially important with the smart ones. Let me elaborate.
I ain’t sayin’ she’s a…
All right, I don’t know if you’ve heard of this before, but apparently there are some women out there who have an exclusive preference for guys with money.
Gimme!
To this particular subgroup of women (colloquially known as “all of them”), it doesn’t matter whether you’re a hip-hop producer, real estate mogul, or trust fund baby. All they care about is another Cristal-fueled stretch-Hummer ride.
Titties are forever.
But think about this:
[the trust fund baby] “…is worthless. He’s spoiled, and didn’t earn it. Why should I care about all that stuff?” – Smart babe I know
Trust Fund Kid is not awesome (in fact he’s a real dick). The fat stack o’ cash is awesome, and since he’s got access to it he’s awesome by association. Which for smart girls, ain’t crap.
And that means smart girls will see right through any of YOUR crap. Far better to impress these women with your wit and banter (aka being a smartass for your own amusement) than relying on material value demonstrations like accomplishments and possessions. (Some examples of wit during pick-up from Love Systems Instructor Big Business)
That’s it for now guys. Go out there and score some smart babes.
After years of going out in the field and seeing countless guys approach women, I’ve noticed that all players, pick-up artists, average guys – pretty much all MEN experience common waypoints on the road to social mastery, and these traits match up perfectly with, of all things, Looney Tunes characters. No joke. I’ve listed all of them below.
(If you find yourself expressing some of the more negative tendencies listed below, don’t fret. It’s natural for guys at all levels to experience them – I’ve been all of these at some point.)
A thing from another world who doesn’t relate well to Earthlings.
An example of social cluelessness.
Does this sound like you?
Social space case who’s unaware of what’s happening on planet Earth. Can easily come across as arrogant
“The Illudium Pew-36 Explosive Space Modulator! That creature has stolen the space modulator!” – Marvin the Martian
A lot of geekier guys start out this way, and they’ve never done anything wrong; socially they’re just a blank slate. They’re happy to talk about obscure or esoteric subjects, not realizing it bores other people. They haven’t been exposed to other people very much and so they miss all of the cues that one learns with social experience.
Solution
Get social experience! (A guide to getting socialized from The Attraction Forums – written for college students, but it can apply to others as well). Another tip – Underground Dating Seminar program director Brad P.’s tips for social newbies mentions that a Goth Club is a good place to build up social experience because it’s a very accepting environment.
Wile E. Coyote
This starving animal buys every product from the “Acme” company. He analyzes and plans for every contingency… but he never gets the Roadrunner.
A perfect plan… that fails.
Does this sound like you?
Obsessive over details, tendency to see every social interaction as a chess game
“WHY do they always want to do it the HARD way?” – Wile E. Coyote
This guy builds elaborate schemes that are “guaranteed” to get the girl… only to have them blow up in his face. It’s also a natural progression for analytical socially isolated guys – A Marvin can easily become a Wile E. Coyote. Social robots and game-heads can try memorizing and planning for every contingency – but the Roadrunner, or unforseen circumstances, or Murphy’s Law will circumvent them.
“The weirdest guys I know and the guys who have the least success with women are the ones who are overly tactical…they are so in their head thinking about the logical side of how to approach and meet women they end up creating a weird vibe and getting crushed. When you can blend “some” tactics with a great vibe, good things happen.”
- Love Systems Instructor Braddock on Relaxing and Having Fun with Game
Solution
These guys must realize that planning for every contingency is impractical at best, and that becoming adaptable without over-reliance on schemes, routines, or gimmicks is the key to success and a happy, well-adjusted social life. A guy like this will learn way faster by consciously throwing himself into situations where he has no idea what to say next; the mind fills the gaps. Love Systems instructor Cajun sums this up pretty well with some pithy advice – “Trust your brain.”
Porky Pig
A cautious everyman.
Not a perfect example, but I love this clip.
Does this sound like you?
A pushover who’s quick to justify social anxiety
[Porky's cats throw him out of his own house] “Pardon me, but d-d-does anyone in the audience kn-know somebody who kn-knows somebody that has a house to rent?” – Porky Pig
This is a common type. They can carry a conversation, but don’t usually make it very fun or intriguing. If the thought of approaching beautiful women doesn’t turn this guy into a stuttering mess, he comes across as a “nice guy”, and it’s easy for others to walk all over him.
A hair trigger who take everything waaaay to seriously.
Typical Yosemite Sam Overreaction
Does this sound like you?
Thin-skinned, insecure, quick to anger
[in response to Bugs' "What's Up Doc?"]
“I’m no Doc, ya flea-bitten varmint!” – Yosemite Sam
The slightest provocation from anyone will set this guy off. He’ll treat any girl’s tests as a personal insult, he’ll treat her friends like scheming adversaries instead of normal people having a night out, and he’ll take every social interaction way too seriously.
Solution
Love Systems Instructor Future notes that when a girl calls you out on something, “if you get blown out it’s not because of the material but because you had a negative reaction to rejection.” Future’s advice applies to any form of rejection she might throw at you. Take it in stride, and move on. One of the best ways to build up tolerance to this situation is cold, hard experience. Try going out with the INTENTION of getting blown out, and actively ENCOURAGE the girls to blow you out. You’ll see it’s not a big deal, and you might even have fun with the situation. “Go up to a group of hot girls and say ‘Hey can you tell me to fuck off’… There, you’ve just been blown out in the worst way possible. Not as bad as you thought huh.” –Love Systems Instructor Daxx on Approach Anxiety
Daffy Duck
A greedy attention-starved opportunist who is always looking out for himself and no one else.
Stubborn to a fault.
Does this sound like you?
Greedy, selfish, conniving, fragile ego
“It’s mine, ya understand? Mine, MINE, all MINE! Get back in there! Down down down! Go go go! Mine mine mine!” – Daffy Duck
These guys would do well if not for these crippling “inner game” issues. And aside from their sex lives, this attitude will also poison their social circles – high value people are uncanny at sensing hidden agendas and will stay far away from these people.
Solution
These guys have a negative attitude. This can be tough to fix because it touches on deep-rooted beliefs; sometimes it takes a serious kick in the ass to fix them (An example of some inner game tough love from Future). Good habits to cultivate include giving without expecting anything in return, helping others, and brushing off negativity like water off a duck’s back.
Foghorn Leghorn
The barnyard’s biggest loudmouth.
Trying too hard
Does this sound like you?
Tendency to ramble and put on airs, braggart
“You’re nothin but a loud mouth snook!” -Henery Hawk
When guys brag too much about their accomplishments, or just blab too much in general they turn into this guy. They may think they’re making themselves look good, but to everyone else these guys are trying too hard.
Solution
Talking too much dispels any mystique a guy might have. And if he brags, it turns women off immediately. Learning the fine art of shutting up (Love Systems Instructor Tenmagnet describes how shutting up helps your game ) and learning to be subtle when presenting accomplishments remedies this.
Pepe Le Pew
Once he spots his Penelope “skunk”, he’ll chase her to the ends of the earth.
Persistence to the point of obnoxiousness…
Does this sound like you?
Obsessive persistence, unfettered desire
“You know, one of the mysteries of my life is, why a woman run away when all she really wish is to be captured.” – Pepe Le Pew
A woman can drive this guy crazy. And that’s fine… to a point. Inevitably the girl will get turned off and creeped out if a guy keeps pushing it – whether it’s with compliments or with physical touch.
“Tas, Tasmanian. Here it is. ‘A strong, murderous beast, jaws as powerful as a steel trap – has ravenous appetite – eats tigers, lions, elephants, buffaloes, donkeys, giraffes, octopuses, rhinoceroses, mooses, ducks…’” – Bugs Bunny
Wild and crazy party guy. Rude, boorish, belligerent, and above all, DRUNK. He can have a pretty decent success rate, if only because he cuts such a wide swath he’ll likely catch a few helpless critters in his wake. Most of the time though he’ll just scare away every animal in the forest.
Solution
Sober up. These guys have good qualities, but they do way better in normal environments if they dial down the intensity a bit. That being said, they can excel in wild amped-up environments like Spring Break (Braddock’s Spring Break Dating Advice).
Bugs Bunny
Completely unflappable. Always one step ahead of everybody, and sometimes outwits his opponents just for his own amusement.
Nonchalant in the face (butt?) of danger…
Does this sound like you?
“calm, flippant insouciance” – Wikipedia
“Gee, ain’t I a stinker?” – Bugs Bunny
Guys who are calm in the face of adversity, adaptable to any situation, and relaxed enough to have a little fun with social pressure (playfully flippant) are way ahead of the game. They also have the confidence to stick up for themselves in adverse situations. (Cajun’s article on Advanced Body Language: Restraint describes an excellent way to handle challengers) It takes social experience and a positive attitude to get there, but the rewards are worth it.
Solution
For guys who don’t have the Bugs Bunny attitude already, it takes a lot of time and practice to get here. The path to being a real wiseguy requires focusing on field experience, and having fun with the process.
Having a Bugs Bunny attitude covers one pillar of my “Grand Unified Theory” of game. Watch for the “Grand Unveiling” of this theory soon.
So when you go out, which Looney Tunes character are you?
