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A Grand Unified Theory of Game

I’m not gonna lie.

The final reason I even got started writing this thing, the final piece of the puzzle putting this blog together, was…
a woman.

Big surprise huh.

Not just any woman, but an attractive, intelligent, talented *amazing* woman with a good head on her shoulders.

I’m not idolizing this person. She’s really pretty awesome.

And there are countless women out there just like her. They’re not rare, they exist. IN DROVES. Confession: I’ve snooped hot girls’ Facebook friend lists. These lists are packed with hundreds of beautiful women (well, beautiful profile pics at least) just like their owners!

'Whatev dude. That's a MySpace angle.'

Men: What do you do now to bring these amazing women into your life? Or whatever type of woman you’re seeking?

The goal of this blog is to help answer that question. (Well if I don’t get sidetracked with dick and titty jokes anyway).

Here’s a start – the big picture.

Sidetrack: Big Bang or God's Wang?

What is the key to being good with women? Well It’s not about looks. It’s not even about money per se. A lot of dating companies touch on what it takes to be good with women, but everything they teach boils down to 6 simple words:

Be social. Be successful. Have fun.

Simple enough right?

And the thing is, if you master ONE of these areas, you’ll probably get the girl(s) you want, even if the other traits aren’t that great. Keep reading if you want to see a breakdown in complete detail.

Extreme Examples

Social: Frank Abagnale from Catch Me If You Can was a (now-reformed) con-artist and a criminal, but his incredible social intuition fooled even high-ranking government officials, and made countless beautiful women fall for him.

True playa.

Successful: Ruling an empire is pretty high up there on the success scale. Look at the history of ancient kings and most have enough wives and concubines to put Wilt Chamberlain to shame.

Not tonight honey. We have a headache.

Fun: What makes someone fun to be around? It’s all based on positive emotions you bring to others. Look at any famous artist or musician and they’ve got this down – they not only bring the positive emotions that people crave, but they infuse them into words, images, and sound. It’s a strange kind of power that seems like magic. They also get laid like… rockstars.
-

The King.

Now the specifics are what get you.

Be Social

How do you get social?

Leave the house. Talk to people.

If only it was that easy…

There’s plenty of advice out there showing how to be more social in a networking or business context. But what does society tell us (Americans) about frank talk on dating and sex? It’s BAD. Taboo. Awkward. So the conversation goes underground and many guys never find out how to succeed with women. At least now there are some companies out there that fill in this gap (I’ve been involved with one – Love Systems).

Be Successful

“Successful” is relative by the way. I’ve known artists that are dead broke and have an amazing romantic life. Sure they may have no money, but their artwork is inspired. They’re successful in life, not necessarily with money, because they accomplished something admirable that took passion and serious effort.

And if you are focused on making money – sure you can work 80 hour weeks and make mad cash, but how can you enjoy the women in your life with your time-sucking livelihood?

Hoes don't count!

You gotta play it smart. There are plenty of places like The Simple Dollar, and 4 Hour Work Week that will give you methods for spending wisely and working smarter so you have time to focus on what you want in life.

Have Fun

By this, I mean you’re fun to be around, and you’re having fun with dating.

Fun to Be Around

There are many ways you can inspire positive emotions in others. Whether it’s through music or art as described above, a humorous perspective on life, or telling interesting stories, those positive emotions will turn you into a magnet for female attention.
It’s easy to overdo pleasing others though. Follow the show business adage to always leave your audience wanting more so you won’t become the oft-maligned “dancing monkey”. Also be sure to do things for your own amusement too (as long as it does no real harm) so you’re not dependent on validation from others.

Having Fun with Dating

The guys who take dating too seriously are the guys who go home alone. Adopt the mindset that meeting a beautiful woman is a casual everyday thing, and nothing is ever a big deal. Let me reiterate – NOTHING is ever a big deal. Her life circumstances, yours, your sexuality, her sexuality – nothing should ever faze you.

This is the same mindset that men with lots of beautiful women in their lives possess.

This part of it is mental, because you can’t fake it. Dating companies can provide guidance and direction for effective mindsets to have for “Inner Game”.

Finding out More

You could go online for weeks and find every single nugget of information on all of these topics to formulate the perfect plan for improving your game. Or you could be lazy like me and just read a couple of books. Here are some examples:

Be Social:
How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie
Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazi
Magic Bullets by Love Systems Director Savoy

Be Successful:
Getting Things Done by David Allen
Four Hour Work Week by Tim Ferriss
The Magic of Thinking Big by David J. Schwartz

Be Fun:
Pulling your Own Strings by Wayne Dyer
The Power of Less by Leo Babauta
My Secret Garden by Nancy Friday
Good luck!

Good evening and welcome to our Player Profiles series, where Wrabbit describes players he meets, their perspectives, and their level of gaming ability. The social sphere defies quantification, so there are no numbers and no points here, just a pure description of game.

Before I officially launch the player profiles, I’m going to subject myself to the same process the other guys will go through. Sort of like how all cops must get tased before they can carry a non-lethal piece.

Like this. But intentional.

Player Profile: Wrabbit

Social Personality Traits in 6 words or less…
smartass frat-boy Renaissance geek

Goals with game?
I’m looking for my dream girl, and along the way I want to have a lot of wild and crazy adventures.

Where do you typically meet women?

I’ve done some day game, but it’s mostly lounges and clubs.

How you typically open up in bars and clubs…
Most of the time I’m too lazy to think of some line, so I usually keep it simple. If it’s one or two girls I’ll be direct most of the time. If it’s a larger group I say whatever comes off the top of my head which usually ends up being entertaining in a really dumb way. At least to me.

Do you have any women in your life right now?
Yes I do. I’ll leave it at that.

How has your love life improved since you learned this stuff?
Looking back it’s been a pretty dramatic change, though it took a few years and I didn’t notice at first. Keeping a journal helped me track how dramatic the change was.

Your perspective on women…
A lot of guys see this pick-up thing as a battle or some kind of war. This is a big WTF to me. The girl wants sexual intimacy with someone she desires just as much as the guy does, it’s just society or circumstances that subvert this from being expressed. It’s anything but a conflict, it’s about building up something positive with someone who really just wants the same thing. And banging them utterly senseless.

An iconic moment that defines your game in a nutshell?
I once met a girl who made every sentence out of her mouth into a challenge. She wouldn’t believe anything I said. I bounced it right back at her without batting an eye. We dated for a few months.

Some of your best tips on game, from your experience?
Read this blog dummy.

Self-reported greatest weakness

Look! A squirrel.

I’ve got a very short attention span when it comes to women. If a girl isn’t into me fast, I’m out like lightning. This is good on some levels, but I take this to an extreme. My “slow burn” game (a Braddock specialty) suffers as a result, and there are many times where I could have built a connection with a top quality woman if I had just put in more effort and taken things slower.

Self-reported greatest strength
When I’m ON, I can tease and banter with the best of ‘em.

(OK so this is the part where I’m supposed to give my observations of the player in question after seeing them in action. Since I’d rather not try any fake pseudo-third-person mental wanking, I asked a friend to evaluate me here. Here’s what he said)

Observed weaknesses
“[One night] we went out with 2 girls at this club. It seemed at times he was pretty aloof to the girl he was interested in. That came off as weird to them or a bit awkward.”

I was losing interest in that girl. See what I mean? That’s also a hazard of my style of game, as my friend describes:

Observed strengths
“He seems to have a very relaxed demeanor in set. It seems to be very cool calm and controlled. Other people do really high energy stuff and want to be the center of attention. But it seems like his approach is more low-key in general.”

You don’t have to be super-high-energy party guy to do well. You can get a girl engaged in the interaction with normal conversation, spiked with game here and there.

“Dating is  boring. The pattern of interaction or VIBE is normal… normal… normal… SPIKE… normal… normal. It’s not SPIKE SPIKE SPIKE SPIKE like a lot of the internet material would have you believe.”
- Braddock

“He seems very confident going up with the approach. He seems to not really care one way or the other if he gets a negative reaction. It’s good to not feel like you need to be validated by the outcome.”

A lot of this is because I’ve taken Braddock’s advice on Approach Anxiety to heart, especially where he quotes Jim Rohn:

“We suffer one of two things. Either the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. You’ve got to choose discipline, versus regret, because discipline weighs ounces and regret weighs tons.”

“I’m also seen him go direct before. And I think that that’s a strength to be able to pull that off and do that in a relaxed manner.”

Direct game is high risk, high reward. It takes confidence to do well but it’s great if you’re in a rush, and as Jeremy Soul teaches, perfect for day game.

That’s it for our first standard Player Profile… look for more coming up!

There are numerous underground dating websites. If you go check them out, some part of you might think: skeevy. And in some ways that’s true. They’ve got public forums where people sometimes post comments that are bona fide skeevy or just plan mean. But this has little to do with the nature of pick-up; it’s just human nature. The asshole factor will always exist. Here’s why.

Asshole Fact #1: Any population of guys will always contain a small sample of assholes

All right. Let’s take a totally random crowd.

Let's play 'Where's Guido?'

Sure. No assholes yet. But let’s look closer.

Closer...

Closer...

wait for it...

ok maybe this isn't...

ASSHOLE! Oh shit!

From this I conclude that any sample of dudes will contain a minimum of one asshole. Still not convinced? Hell just watch some TV.

Chuck

John Casey

Hot damn, the first episode he almost blew the main guy’s brains out. Perfectly innocent dude. What a dick.

House

Don’t know who I’m talking about? Watch 30 seconds of the damn show.

Community

Jeff Winger

He’s a lawyer. Speaking of which -

Every Legal Show Ever Made

ASSHOLES!

Every Wall Street Movie Ever Made

ASSHOLES!

which brings me to my next point -

Asshole Fact #2: When you gather up a big group of dudes, testosterone outs every guy’s inner asshole to some degree

Exhibit A

Exhibit B.

Exhibit C.

Asshole Fact #3: Like anything else, some guys nerd out on seduction and become weird assholes

The internet proves it. Like Rule 34 for porn, if it exists, someone’s OBSESSED with it. Pick-up is no exception. You’ll see a personality type that’s obsessed with slicing every human interaction into every quantifiable detail (one that I call the Wile E. Coyote in my Looney Tunes Guide to PUA Personality Types). Some sad news for you fellas… turning interactions into scripts is not possible. Sorry. Are you prepared for a -

Girl you just met responding to everything you say with “I don’t believe you”?
24-year-old girl’s MOM showing up at the bar and cockblocking you?
New girl who calls you after ignoring you for 2 weeks asking “I’m in town with my girlfriends what are you doing” at 10pm on a Saturday?

All of these things have happened to me. No I didn’t have a contingency planned. Yes in the end I got the girl, because I made a conscious effort to be adaptable.

There will always be a contingency and if you don’t plan to ADAPT, your whole structure will come crashing down. The only way to build up adaptability is EXPERIENCE. Find out what happens for yourself. And question everything you read (Love Systems Director Savoy on questioning everything), while never taking any of it too seriously.

In the end, PUA instruction is like firearms instruction

The stakes aren’t life and death, but they’re important regardless. PUA websites provide tools that can be used for good or ill. Men will ALWAYS seek tools to improve their odds with women. Guys are horny. It’s how they work. These places can provide training and encourage good behaviour, but in the end, each man’s gotta carry his own piece.

These are not your ordinary geeks.

I’m at a casual business meeting at a diner and all these geeky guys are sitting around quiet. So I socialize with them and everyone starts to open up. Don’t get me wrong, they’re not lacking in social skills – one of them shows up with his girlfriend. She’s not a supermodel or anything, but she’s a total party girl. And the most shy, withdrawn, zombie-looking geek of them all drives a Vette with “80 grand of modifications in the engine alone” according to his friend. Not just any geeks… but executive geeks! Geeks with hot cars and fat wallets!

Geeks + money = this.

The last one to arrive has a big pair of shades on his head, and he struts up with a sexy blonde. Did I show up to the wrong meeting? I whisper to party girl, who by now is my instant BFF – “Wow she’s beautiful!” and she agrees.

So Shades guy has one problem, he’s braggy. It starts out tolerable but after a while balloons into obnoxiousness (we got a Foghorn Leghorn here). During any conversation he makes it a point to name-drop every chance he gets.

“Halloween was great. I was VIP at this party where they rented out an entire hotel. So-and-so TV star was there along with so-and-so rock star.” – Shades guy

Call me simple, but that kind of stuff just grates on me. (As they teach in Magic Bullets over at Love Systems, if you’re gonna brag, be subtle about it.) Braggy guy goes to the head of the table and leaves me sitting across from the blonde. Big mistake Pops. If he was less of a dick I wouldn’t have said anything, but now she’s fair game. I talk to her and pretty much just be my naturally charming self :-) which ends up making her giggle and start showing interest.

I gotta get the scoop. “How do you guys know each other?”
“It’s kind of a first date… We met on the internet.”
Huh? “And he brought you here?”
“Yeah it’s kinda weird.” OK, Protip guys: don’t bring a first date to a business meeting.

Also a bad first date.

I get everybody’s number and I just happen to get her number in the process :-) Right away she sends me some flirty texts so we go back and forth a bit, unbeknownst to Shades guy. Now we got a conspiracy going! (One of Tenmagnet‘s insights)

I order a beer and start goofing around, throwing paper airplanes, starting conversations with other tables. Pretty soon everyone else is drinking and raising a ruckus. Just before the rowdiness peaks, the blonde drops a bomb out of nowhere. “I want to know, I’ve got to see this. What’s 2 girls 1 cup?” she asks innocently.

We insist she doesn’t want to know, that NO ONE ever wants to know the horror she’s describing.

5 minutes later we’re huddled around a laptop watching the #1 reason Brain Bleach should exist. Seriously? These geeks went from quiet analytical discussion to binge drinking and horrifying-porn-watching in 30 minutes flat. Conclusion: I’m the devil.

P.S. Oh yeah, Shades guy “bragged” that he worked with the guy who produced 2 girls 1 cup. Double-you-tee-fuck.  I wish I was making that up.

In a recent article I described how my buddy Eli convinced a whole small-town club he was the owner in 45 minutes. I’m gonna list a lot of crazy fun stuff here, and how to use it. Maybe you can go out and try it yourself one night. Will it improve your game? Yes. Because you’re training your social intuition, when it works it impresses girls, and above all… you’re having a good time!

Social Sleight of Hand: Misdirection

You ever deal from the bottom of the deck? The key is misdirection. When you’re a magician doing tricks -

Whoops. Illusions.

- you gotta give your audience a bright shiny thing to look at so they won’t catch you stuffing pigeons in your shirt. When it comes to social sleight of hand, your big distraction is this: before the big reveal, throw in something weirdly specific. People will be so distracted by the specific thing that they won’t notice the outrageous lie right behind it. Examples (with Specific details in italics):

“We’re in a band called Mountain Meadows Massacre, we’ve been touring for 3 and a half years now. It’s country black metal.”

“Our buddy’s business really took off, he just bought a penthouse in West LA. He invented the Snuggie.”

Make Your Friends Part of the Conspiracy

If all of you have a story going (see some suggestions below), the con has way more impact. Have your friends drop details that agree with your story.
Ex: You’re “Australian” and your friend says “If you ever visit you should see my buddy’s place in Melbourne, it’s got a killer view”.

Watch for Easy Opportunities

Sometimes a girl will make an assumption about you that is completely incorrect. These are the easiest cons to pull off because hey, it’s her idea, not yours. Just agree with it. “Whoa that’s kinda crazy. How did you know I was Norweigan? If you say you like lutefisk this conversation is over, stalker.”

Be Really Serious

If people laugh at something ridiculous, look offended. This lie is your life and you’re proud of it. React like they just kicked your dog. You’ve gotta be totally deadpan though – if one laugh leaks out you’re done.

Brush Off Minor Objections

“Oh no, I got called out, what do I say?”
The first time they think you’re lying, brush it off. Stick to your guns. One of my favorite ways to do this is to look at them like they just farted, and keep talking.
If you get called out again though the jig is up. Just drop it and change the subject.

Are Hot Girls More Gullible?

Since most guys don’t have the balls to lie to a hot girl’s face, it’s easy to assume hot girls will believe every dumb thing you say. Most guys are trying so hard to impress her that they would never convince her they’re Australian, for example. On the other hand…

Hot Girls Have More Social Intuition

By virtue of being hot, some hot girls have vast social experience since people start conversations with them all the time. So some of them can spot a lie pretty quickly. Others… well if you meet a ditsy hot girl, you’ve just hit the con artist jackpot my friend. Convince her you’re a Bhutanese breakdancing champion. Your signature move? The cockstand.

Like this, but no hands.

Drop the Lie, Gain Attraction

At some point drop the lie. You’re just having fun, you’re not outright deceiving people. Revealing the lie also wins you some attraction, since being able to lie well is a sign of social intuition.

One of my favorite ways to clue them in: “Hey, did you know if you say ‘gullible’ really slowly, it sounds like ‘chicken’?”

Be aware though that some girls will go through all kinds of mental gymnastics to convince themselves they weren’t bamboozled after the fact. If a girl is totally serious about not falling for your gag, don’t get into an argument. Just let it go and move on to the next topic.

Crazy Club Story Ideas

So now you’ve got the tools, what kinds of crazy cons can you try out? Here are some I’ve tried with my friends.

Pretend you or your group is:

• the owner
• a completely different nationality. Bonus if you mimic an accent to go with it. (How to be incredibly awkward and create a situation that will probably get you banned from the venue: Pretend you’re their nationality)
• a minor celebrity that you have a passing resemblance to
• a band – The more retarded it is, the more points you get if anyone believes you. “We’re in a band called Mountain Meadows Massacre, we’ve been touring for 3 and a half years now. It’s country black metal.”
• really insanely rich – “He doesn’t like to talk about it but our buddy’s got 8% of stock in Facebook.” (Even better since Facebook is not publicly traded.) Or this one: “Our buddy’s business took off, he just bought a penthouse in West LA. He invented the Snuggie.”
• world famous guru – “Yeah people come from all over the world to learn from this guy. He taught Jean-Claude Van Damme’s brother. He teaches interpretive jazz dance.”

This one is magic because it’s so simple, but hardly any of the guys I know do this. In fact, they come up with excuses NOT to do it. It boggles my frickin’ mind.

What do guys usually do to improve their odds?

• Blow mad cash on cars, clothes
• Spend hours at the gym

You spend all this money and time on all of these things because you know they’ll improve your game. But the biggest game booster of them all is so simple…

Get There Early!

On the nights where I got there early (before 10), I got at least 1 in 4 more results than before. And my friends say the same thing. Why does getting there early work so well? Well first I gotta trash one big excuse that some of y’all might be thinking.

Excuse: “Nobody’s gonna be there”

It’s how parties work. You don’t want to show up early when all the cool kids are late. It’s not trendy. Or maybe you’ll feel a little awkward. Guess what?

• A) This ain’t a party, it’s a club
• B) that’s how the other early birds are feeling too.

Now here are the reasons why getting to the club early works.

Catch the Solo Early Birds

This is my favorite reason to go out early. When groups of people show up to the club, sometimes some of them get there earlier than others, and end up hanging out alone at the bar for a little while. If you meet a girl who’s by herself early in the night, she’s probably arrived first out of her friends. She’ll be bored out of her mind and eager to talk to anybody. You don’t even have to have a wild and crazy conversation starter here. Even just saying “hi” can work. This is one way to find the fabled perfect 10′s human side before she punches in her clock as general manager of Cockbuster Video.

This also works with solo guys. No you’re not hitting on the dude. If you meet a guy who’s waiting for his friends he’ll be totally chill, and later on in the night you got an inside track to meeting any of his hot lady friends that show up.

Taking Social Risks Looks More Badass

When the crowd is small that’s a perfect time to start conversations. Why? Everyone else is a little uptight at the start of the night, they haven’t gotten their liquid courage on. If you do things that take more social pressure, you’ll stand out from the pack. If you:

• Open up a big group of people
• Dance by yourself on an empty dance floor

Anyone who sees it will wonder how you can do these things with the two melons you’re smuggling in your pants.

Build Social Proof with the Staff

Love Systems Instructor 5.0 mentions that early in the night is the best time to chat with bar staff since they’re not so busy. This is also your best chance to chat up those smokin’ hot waitresses.

You’ve Got More Time to Warm Up

Going from zero to social isn’t an instant process. You gotta ramp it up in steps. Having a simple chat with a few people when it’s early and low-energy lets you crank out a few base hits so you can hit home runs later.

At Clubs Late Sometimes Means Never

Who likes waiting in line for 30 minutes? Also if you’re a guy showing up at the club late they might not even let you in.

Dude we are so getting in.

You Can Break the Ice and Talk to People Later

Tenmagnet mentions that if you open up a group early on, you don’t even have to get very far, or stay with them all night. Just chat for a bit and come back later. The ice is broken. When the club is packed, you’ve got a home base of people you can always chat up again if you need to stay warmed up.

How to Convince Your Boys

You can use some of the points in this article to convince your guy friends: “I know it’s early but let’s GO. The girls will be way more friendly.” But nothing beats this argument: being in mid-chat with hot girls right when your friends roll in.

My natural player friend Eli and I check out a small city’s nightlife and he somehow ends up taking over a club.

Eli takes off into a club for half an hour and he’s not answering his phone. A drunk vanished Eli is a dangerous Eli. I always watch my boys, so I head back and get to the bouncer.

Bouncer: “It’s last call man I can’t let anybody in.”
Me: “I”m lookin for my friend Eli.”
Bouncer: “What, you mean like the owner Eli?”
Me: “What?”
Bouncer: “Like the OWNER ELI?”
Me: “Uh, yeah.”
Bouncer: “He’s right over there” and points at MY FRIEND ELI.

He’s in this crowd of people and waving a clipboard – “HEY! YOU! Are you on the list? Hey. Look over here. Is this your name? No? Hey you got a nice ass ” *slap* ” you’re invited!”

He asks people to find their name on the list and they can’t do it. I get a closer look at the paper and it’s a restaurant menu.

ELI ON USING THE CLIPBOARD

“I didn’t even look at the fuckin paper. I was pattin’ people on the butt. ‘Hey buddy.’ Big douchebags that wanna fight with people. ‘Are you on the list? Get the fuck out. You and Fabio over there. Get some mustard and butter and go home.’”

THE REAL OWNER SHOWS UP

It’s last call and as Eli backs up the entire club into a huge line, some scarecrow lookin’ dude marches up to him with a serious look on his face.
“I’m the owner’s brother. What are you doing with that clipboard?”
“Hey my name’s Eli. It’s cool man. I stole your clipboard. You can keep it.”
He glares at Eli.
“I don’t give a shit. Have a beer.”

ELI ON WHY IT WORKED

“I think I pulled a Mentos commercial. ‘It’s ok. I have breathmints. I stole someone’s cab. I have a cute smile. You can fuck off.’”

WHAT I LEARNED FROM THIS

The club environment is a complete fabrication. It’s a social bubble, created by its owners to ultimately make money and/or raise their status. Many clubs prey on people’s insecurities – creating an environment that seems intimidating, exclusive, and cooler than you – all to make you blow more cash to fit in.

So the next time you’re out and the club’s wearing you down, remember – it’s a social bubble anyone can pop, and all it takes is balls. Specifically, your balls.

TAKE A CLUBBIN’ ROAD TRIP!

Go to some random club in a place you’ll never see again. Make it a road trip with your buddies! Try something nutty (no breaking the law or starting fights please). Maybe you’ll get kicked out, but who cares? Teabag that social bubble with your massive cojones ’til it pops.

So many guys end up in a relationship and what happens? She gets bored. Loses interest. Bangs the Dallas starting lineup AND the second stringers.

If it's these second stringers? Totally cool.

Sometimes you gotta do the unexpected to keep your lady into you. One big fat unexpected example: keeping your mojo.

Mojo is your sexual desirability to other women, and to maintain it, you gotta flirt with other women. The keyword here is “flirt”, not “make out with”, “fingerbang”, etc. You’re not doing this to make your girl jealous (so don’t do it in her face). You’re doing this for the health of the relationship.

Why does this behavior help the relationship?

Both parties must stay desirable or someone’s gonna lose interest.  Much like men are hard-wired to love a woman’s “assets”, women are hard-wired to desire a man who is desired by other women (“Pre-selection”) and even in a relationship this never goes away. The lady’s gotta stay in shape. And the man’s gotta keep his mojo.
A man without mojo is a man that will soon be single, if he isn’t already. Any time you’re out of the game, your mojo fades. It’s like a muscle. If you stop lifting, you’ll lose strength, so working out is a lifelong pursuit. In the same way, if you stop flirting, you’ll lose mojo, so mojo maintenance is a lifelong pursuit.

What causes mojo decay?

Actively attracting women is a complicated skill set. And like other skillsets (other languages, playing an instrument, drunk driving) if you stop practicing you’ll get sloppy, no matter how good you are.  Even Miles Davis lost his musical mojo when he took a hiatus.  Stop practicing flirting long enough and you’ll start forgetting it. It sneaks up on you… you’ll be running out of things to say (5.0 on what to say next), then you’ll get major approach anxiety again (dealing with approach anxiety by Daxx). Then all of a sudden it’s summertime and holy shit! You haven’t left home to socialize in two weeks.

Relating to people is something most of us do every day, so that skill has little risk of fading. Relating to desirable women is not something we do every day, so it’s easy to forget.

The good news is…

It just takes a little effort to “re-activate” dormant skills (Languages for example). It’s the same for pick-up. Give it a few weeks to kick-start your mojo. Just go out and practice like you’re single, schedule a few nights out with your boys (if your lady won’t let you do this you’ve got bigger problems my friend). If your relationship is monogamous, don’t cheat. Just soak in some positive female energy and bask in your newfound mojo.

(Originally written in October 2009 – but still fresh!)

I highlight some guys I know who grew up naturally gifted around with women…

This is part 2. (Read Part 1: The Social Ninja here)

Is there even a market for dating coaching in South America? Because every South American guy I’ve ever met has been cool, laid-back, and incredibly good with women. The perfect example? Andre.

Last known picture of Andre.

Andre started clubbing in Rio at the ripe old age of 15. He told me once, “In Brazil man, when the club closes at 2 A.M., you go to the club, they close at 6am. Then you go to the club, they close at 10 A.M., and you party all night man.”

His philosophy on life, no matter

(Direct Day game credit Love Systems instructor Jeremy Soul and approaching mixed groups credit Vercetti)

Anyway, uh, back to Andre -

Andre’s philosophy on life, no matter how fucked up your day is going? “RELAAAX man, relax. Have a beeeer. I call some strippers man. I know these girls they work at the tanning booth man I know some hookers. They come and party. Relax.” He’s somewhat tall and decent looking but he’s not a model by any means. It’s all charm.

ANDRE’S GAME IN A NUTSHELL

I’m at a house party where this hot blonde is quite literally surrounded by dudes. They sit on couches and chairs in a circle around her and compete for her attention.

Andre opens the door, walks in, glides past all these college studs, reaches down, strokes her chin, and says in his thick Brazilian accent – “You have… the most… beautiful… eyes…”

She gets up, mesmerized as Andre takes her hand and walks her outside. The guys go silent.

Instant makeout.

5 minutes later I get a text. I hand him his keys and he takes her home.

WHAT DID I LEARN FROM HIM?

After a party I’m hanging out with a few friends at Andre’s place. My friend’s roommate who’s Woody-Allen-neurotic starts the “this one girl” speech. “She just broke up with her boyfriend, and I want to have sex but I think she’d rather wait, we kissed last night but I wasn’t sure and blah blah blah” and so on, explaining this whole complicated situation to Andre for 10 minutes. And what does Andre do? He listens. He nods. He mulls it over and sips his beer. And right away I can sense that something profound is about to happen.

He pauses, sips his drink, and begins speaking.

“JUST FUCK HER man!”

The moment you start overthinking, remember the words of Andre.

POSTSCRIPT

I wrote this back in 2009. Eli stayed back home when I moved cross country. We’re still in touch. He’s got a girlfriend now but he maintains his mojo by going out constantly and charming every woman in sight. I hope he makes it out to LA soon.

I lost touch with Andre after he moved to the Deep South and, apparently, got married. Looks like the legend has retired…

Imagine, if you will, a perfect woman. Your dream girl.

A little from Columns B, C, and DD.

Absolutely stunning in every way possible, totally compatible, and she’s in love with you. Head over heels. The sex will be amazing and blah blah blah fill in your preferences here.

Except…

Megan Fox's Spoon Thumb

1. She’s got a serious case of spoon thumb. (Case in point – Megan Fox)
Would you date her?

2. Her boyfriend dumped her 3 years ago and she’s still not over it.
Would you date her?

3. oh, and she’s part of a Hollywood pseudo-religious cult.
Would you date her?

4. oh, and she can’t stand black people.
Would you date her?

5. Herpes.
Would you date her?

6. The Crying Game. (you totally can’t tell though.)
Would you date her?

7. The cops still haven’t found her last boyfriend’s body.
Would you date her?

Your Results

If you said yes to…

1 – That’s GOLD Jerry.
2 – Set a course for Drama, Captain. Warp 9.
3 – Blame Xenu.
4 – If you’re black my head just exploded right now
5 – Are you sure? Positive?
6 – I hear pink is trendy this season.
7 – File a restraining order. Against yourself.
I said “yes” to every question – Get help.
I said “no” to every question – Hi Hef! How’s the Mansion these days?

(There have been times in my life where I would have said yes to 1 through 3, and yes, even 4.)

Is it worth it to stick to your standards, even on the little stuff?

If you’re single and you turn down a girl with a few minor flaws, you could end up in a dry spell. Consider this. Based on my anecdotal experience (along with my natural player buddies) women can sense it when you’re gettin’ some.

[after a wild night of sex with his girlfriend] “I’m at work, breath all fucked up, no shower, ugly as hell. Every girl’s eyeballin’ me while I’m walkin’ around like Captain Caveman.” – Natural Player Eli

Captain Caaaaavemaaaaaan!

There’s something about getting laid that gives a man some swagger. Maybe it’s pheremones. Maybe it’s your voice dropping pitch or the reduction of ballast in your balls shifting your center of gravity. Either way it’s potent.

So if you are in a dry spell, it’s ok to relax your standards a bit. It’ll keep the beast in your pants happy, and it’ll keep your mojo at full strength. Just don’t take it to extremes and hook up with a land monster.

'We didn't come here to fight monsters, we're not equipped for it.'