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Sometimes you have to use all of your resources to score a cute girl. When you’re ballboy Kevin Fennell from the Oakland A’s, you have to give a woman four foul balls, five total, to get a phone number. By the fourth foul ball, I’m sure she felt sorry for the guy. He didn’t even number-close her. Some ballplayer had to send over a fifth baseball with a note asking for her phone number. After giving her four foul balls, bypassing tons of kids begging for a souvenir and after several booing cheers from the crowd, he didn’t think of getting her phone number.

Come on kid! After giving a woman four of anything, I’d be expecting her to do the nasty in the back of my car let alone get her phone number.

There are two things I took away from this story. The first is that women love anything out of the ordinary. Attractive women are approached everyday by the same type of guys. It’s the guys that differentiate themselves from the average ones that walk away with a number. A ballboy giving someone a foul ball happens several times during a baseball game, but giving someone four of them is unheard of. I probably would have stopped at two and asked for a phone number.

The second, was thinking how uncomfortably pressured this woman must have felt to dish out a phone number. Giving women gifts places them in the awkward position of feeling obligated to reciprocate. They’ll feel like they have to be nice to you even if they don’t want to. That’s why almost every PUA recommends never buying a girl a drink. You want a woman to interact with you because she’s into you, not because you bought her a drink.

For the full story, and video head over to the story:
A’s ballboy lands date with fan

As a dating coach here in NYC, you’d likely think that most of the guys I work with are very different, diverse, experiencing very different challenges vis-a-vis women and dating. If that’s what you think, you’d be wrong…very very wrong.

It’s truly amazing how each of the guys who come to me tend to struggle with the exact same things. And, very regularly, the solutions to what they struggle with are usually the same as well. It has caused me to think that there is a true epidemic of fear and insecurity within our male population, which is usually the root cause of his struggles with women.

Becoming a pickup artist isn’t like riding a bike. You don’t learn a few things and are able to perform  them the rest of your life. Sure, you might know what to do, but knowing and doing are two different things. Becoming a pickup artist takes consistency and commitment. When I first started, I was on fire. I was approaching women with no fear. My friends would sit in awe as I approached hottie after hottie. I felt like I had the secret playbook for attracting and seducing women. I had confidence but that slowly transitioned into something detrimental.  I started to get cocky, and lazy. After a while, I stopped approaching women and started giving myself excuses for not doing so. I would think, “She’s kinda ugly. I’ll Pass.” or “She looks like a bitch.” But all I was doing was making excuses. There’s no excuses when it comes to picking up women. Like Steve Carell said in The 40 Year Old Virgin, if you don’t use it, you lose it.

I’ve been studying pickup artist books, videos, podcasts, ebooks and anything else I can get my hands on for the past 13 months. I’ve made dramatic progress since I’ve started but to be honest, it doesn’t get any easier. You’ll never have the perfect answer to every problem you run into. With enough experience, you’ll build up a mental database of interactions you can pull up for assistance whenever you’re in the field but there’s always a risk that something unexpected will occur. But that’s what makes it fun.

If you want to become a pickup artist, you have to be committed.  It’s a long and hard journey. You have to apply what you learn on a weekly basis or you’ll end up going back to your old ways.  You have to motivate yourself to get out and approach. On some days, you’ll get shot down and you’ll undoubtingly feel like you’ve wasted your time trying to be something you’re not. As horrible as that may feel, have some comfort knowing that is completely natural. It’s happened to me and it’s happened to every other PUA out there.

Becoming a pickup artist isn’t an easy task. It can take years to make any substantial improvements, but if you stick to it, it’ll all be worth it.